


The Berserker

by SuhailaUniverse



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M, Slow Burn, VIKINGS AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-07-02 19:10:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 32,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15802776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuhailaUniverse/pseuds/SuhailaUniverse
Summary: A Vikings AU that sees Claire cross paths with a young Berserker.





	1. Chapter 1

 Claire had arrived at the village three days prior and the tension that ran through it was palpable. She’d heard the stories of how the little hamlet had sided with one Earl over another. Two brothers vying for power; one ascended, the other roamed the lands wreaking havoc on those deemed his brother’s sympathizers. Rumours had the wannabe-Earl headed for them next.

She had only meant to stay a day or two before moving on, but there were more people that needed her help than she had anticipated. Rumours or not, she was more than eager to be gone; the villagers’ fear seeped through her, Claire had resolved to leave early the next morning, come what may.

They heard them just before daybreak.

A high pitch, blood curdling screech pierced the early misty dawn. Claire sat bolt upright, the sound going straight up her spine, making her entire body unpleasantly tingle. There was a moment, where the entire world stopped in silence. For a heartbeat after the cry, nothing moved, nothing breathed, nothing dared. Then the screaming started.

It was sheer pandemonium. Everyone seemed to burst out of their beds and crofts at once and ran every which way, but the marauders were far too organized for the farmers and crofters. They fell where they stood, no match for the violence that befell them.

Claire kept to the shadows, skirting her way tightly along the houses, trying to make it to the safety of the treeline and beyond, from whence the marauders had come. She tried to focus on the directions the sounds came from, but it was no use, there was just too much noise and carnage to focus on anything but keeping her heart from exploding out of her chest.

She found herself outside a stable, the horses frightened, neighing frantically, kicking at their stalls trying to get away from the shouts outside.  _Take a horse!_  she thought, _you’ll get away quicker!_  But no sooner had the thought entered her mind, when a group of men burst into the stable, dragging women in with them - spoils of war. Claire pushed back into the shadows, praying they’d swallow her whole. 

They spoke a tongue she didn’t recognize, a deep guttural sort of language, as rough as the men themselves. they were big and utterly savage. One man stood apart; a giant of a man, towered over the others, as drenched in blood as the rest. Something about him drew her gaze. Bloody sword in hand, shirt half-torn down the front, a gaping wound beneath, he had no woman of his own and didn’t seem all that pleased with those that did.

One of the other men pushed a woman toward him, forcing him to grab her by the shoulders and set her aside. He said something, fiercely glaring at the other man, who had stepped forward, his back to Claire, and stood an inch from him - he would have blocked out any other man from sight, large as he was, but he was no match the giant Berserker - glaring back. A fire blazed outside the stable, silhouetting the redheaded giant in a fiery haze.

His eyes suddenly flicked up over the man’s shoulder, as if he could feel the intensity of her gaze on him. His eyes locked with hers, fear paralyzing her to the spot. His face was a iron mask, she could read nothing whatsoever on it. Then, with an infinitesimal of head shakes;  _don’t scream,_  it said, gesturing her to the deeper shadows on her right. She did as he bid, crouching low into the corner and held her breath.

***

It felt like a lifetime, hands pressed against her ears, filled with pain and misery before the group was done and had moved on, but Claire had been too afraid to stand back up, to move, to even open her eyes, till she felt the gentlest of touches. Hands on her elbows urged her to her feet, yet she still didn’t dare open her eyes. A hand moved from her elbow and light a feather, brushed an unruly curl back behind her ear. A voice deep and soothing said something she didn’t understand, but knew from the tone of his voice, he meant nothing threatening. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked up into the face of the bloodied Berserker.

He spoke again, but she shook her head, “I don’t understand you,” she said, barely above a whispered breath. He looked surprised. It wasn’t something he was expecting.

“Don’t…” he said halting, “Don’t be afraid. I mean you no harm.”

She stared at him astonished. No one here spoke her language - herself only speaking their common tongue in bits and pieces, ‘ _where does it hurt?_ ’ the only thing she truly needed to know how to say after all, to heal.

“What do you mean to do?” she asked shakily. His hands on her elbows tightened a fraction. She was still in her night shift, the cold morning air and the shock of the dawn’s savagery, had her shaking uncontrollably, yet she could feel the heat emanating from him and seep into her, as if he burned from within.

“See you safe,” she said, looking over his shoulder. Voices and hurried footsteps sounded from outside, moving to and fro. “If I can.”

“Why would you help me?”

He looked down at her, eyes soft, almost pleading. “There’s been enough death and pillaging tonight. If I can save just one, I will. They will not dishonour you, I won’t let them.”

She felt truly safe for the first time since it had all began, something about the young Berserker comforted her.

“You aren’t like the others. You’re not one of them, are you?” she said with a surety that surprised even her.

“You ask a lot of questions, do you know that,” he said, smiling a crooked smile at her that she couldn’t help but return. 

Then they came. Footsteps rushing back into the stable. They had no time whatever to conceal themselves; the men upon them in a flash.

“ _Do my eyes deceive, or has young Jamie found himself a woman_ ,” said one of them, voice dripping with contempt.

“ _This is none of your concern,_ ” the Berserker replied, turning to face them, shielding her from view at the same time. He felt her fingers take a handful of the back of his shirt, holding fiercely to him.

“ _Easy! It isn’t like we’ve come to watch - though I have half a mind to - just glad to see you’ve taken to our ways at last. Your uncle will be pleased. Just remember to leave some for him when you’re done,_ ” he smirked.

“ _Leave_.”

Claire had understood not a word of their conversation, but felt the burning fury of the Berserker’s last word and whatever the men he faced saw in his face was enough to have them back away from him and out of the stable. She kept her hands on his waist as he turned back to her. “What did you say to-” but her question was cut off as her hands came in contact with the wound across his torso, making him wince. “You’re hurt, “ she remembered, stupidly, peeling the blood soaked shirt away from the wound, her fingers already drenched crimson.

“It’s nothing. We need to get you away from here! Now!” he said urgently. She could see his mind working as he thought of an escape route.

He closed his eyes trying to control his racing mind and heart. The men would have told his uncle already about the woman. And he knew his uncle well enough to know he’d covet her for nothing more than to spite him - to take what was his. He needed to get her away before they returned.

“Come! This way!” He said, and not waiting for any more questions, he grabbed her arm and rushed them out the stables and into the rising sun.

***


	2. Chapter 2

He rushed them both through the village, roughly handling her whenever any man from his uncle’s party saw them. The more they thought she was his to do with as he pleased, the less questions they would ask. His rough handling was not at all being appreciated by the woman though, who had started fighting against his grip. Pulling her to him, he whispered harsher than he meant to, “Stop it, will ye! They are watching us!”

“Then shouldn’t fighting you be precisely what I should be doing?!” she hissed back, her hand coming free of his, she dragged her nails deeply into the flesh of his neck, leaving three nasty looking gouges. She saw the corner of his mouth twitch.

“Perhaps,” he said wryly, recapturing her hand neatly. Then suddenly, he yanked her to him, wrapping his arms round her waist, lifting her off her feet and pinned her to a cottage wall - her nose an inch from his, just as a group of men went by. “But maybe a little less fighting and a little more screaming? Or shall I just throw you over my shoulder?” he said into her ear. He was shielding her from view once more, she realized. He was also warm and surprisingly gentle. By all appearances to anyone looking, he seemed to be manhandling her, but in truth, his arms weren’t holding her captive, but just simply holding her.

She looked him straight in the eye then, and saw a teasing glint in them.  _How can he tease at a moment like this?_  she thought, trying to hide a smile.

“No,” she replied him flatly.

He bent his head, burying it in her neck and asked, “Are they gone?”

Her eyes quickly scanned the area around them. “I think so, yes,” she quietly replied.

He put her down without ceremony suddenly, her legs almost giving way beneath her. They moved swiftly, the air thick with smoke and the smell of blood and fear. There was an eerie silence over the village now, snippets of disembodied screams piercing the quiet.

***

They made it to the treeline unhindered. His grip on her arm relaxing finally as they reached the safety of cover. He did a quick sweep of the area, making sure they were indeed alone before gripping his midriff and sinking onto a fallen log.

“We’re safe for the moment,” he said wincing, “We have a little time to decide what to do next.”

Instinctively, she knelt in front of him, pulling his hands away from the wound. He let her do as she would, watching as she frowned and prodded the edges of it. “Decide what? It’s simple; I patch you up, you head back to your group, and I get away from here as fast and as far as bloody possible.” Her fingers shook, but her touch was light and gentle, his skin interrupting in goosebumps in the wake of it. “Damn. I can’t do this like this,” she gestured at her blood stained hands, “I need my things to tend to you properly.”

“And how do you suggest we get your things?” he said a little irritably, “and it isn’t  _that_ simple.”

She sat back on her heels, looking up at him; even covered in blood as he was, she could still see how pale he’d become. And just how tired. “What do you mean?” she asked, helping him sit on the ground, back braced against the log.

“This isn’t all the men in our band. We broke up into four groups and spread through the land. Chances of ye not running into one of them is slim at best.”

“Right, and there isn’t anyone else like you here. I see.”

“Aye.” he grimaced.

She looked at him for a long moment, a look of blank shock written on her features. “ _Aye_?”

“Your things,” he said not meeting her eye. “Where are they?”

She realized whatever it was he’d just revealed, he hadn’t meant to and as much as she wanted to probe him about it further, she could see he needed tending more than her curiosity needed satisfying. She explained exactly where she’d been staying and what her medicine box itself looked like, and with a terse “I’ll be right back”, he was off crashing through the foliage back to the village.

***

For the first time since the melee broke out, Claire finally caught her breath. Her legs giving way completely, she sunk to the ground, pressing her palms to the mildew covered grass trying to stop herself from shaking. It was no use - the screams still echoed in her mind. She closed her eyes and urged herself to take one slow breath at a time. The young berserker would be back soon and would need her. Need her to be calm and steady.

As her mind began to settle, thoughts of their conversation replayed themselves. He was unlike anyone she’d met in this strange place. And while she hadn’t seen him kill anyone, she couldn’t deny the fact that he was covered in blood - not all his own - from splatters across his right cheek and clothes, to his drenched blade from the morning’s mayhem. Yet he’d held her so gently, with quiet strength, yes, but never with cruelty.

Then there was his speech; had she imagined it? There were but a handful who spoke her tongue, but none so fluently. He had a lilt to his accent though. “ _Aye_ ,” he’d said, or rather, slipped. She’d heard that only the one time, in only the one place, while travelling with her Uncle - Scotland. 

Could he possibly be? But  _how_?

***

He stomped through the trees, annoyed with himself. How could he have been so reckless? Letting his guard down so? He had been so careful for so long, taught himself how to hide behind a blank mask of indifference, to hide what and who he truly was. So why now, had he slipped? And so naturally, without a second thought till the words had left his lips.

He felt lightheaded, the morning’s adrenaline wearing off, yet his blood still fizzed. He could still feel her touch on him. Her fingers had shook, but not from fear of him, he thought. Or rather  _hoped_. He tried to shake off the memory, to put up his veil of indifference as he entered the village, but he didn’t have to; the other men had eyes only for their plunder. He rushed through the crowds with her words, and touch, still echoing in his mind.

***

She’d finally calmed down, moving to and fro walking off her nerves, snippets of clatters and cries carried on the uneven wind blowing through the trees. She hadn’t heard him come back into her small clearing till he was right behind her and whispered in her ear, “You really need to pay more attention to your surroundings.”

Birds in the nearby flora indignantly scattered in all directions at the shriek she let out, half muffled by his hand clapping over her mouth. “It’s me,” he whispered, his other hand - still carrying her medicine box - wrapped round her waist as she made to bolt, “It’s me, it’s me.” He felt her body yield at his words and reluctantly let go.

She turned and thumped him on the arm, her face red with fear and irritation. “Why would you do  _that_!” she hissed indignantly, her fist thumping into his arm again.

“Ow! Stop that!” he said, trying to grab her hand. Successful in his second attempt, he managed to wheel her about again, pinning her back to his chest, “Stop, please.”

“Don’t you sneak up on me like that again,” she huffed, but calming down. She felt an exhausted tremor go through him, then her. She turned in his arms, grasping him by the waist, her hands steadying him. He was dead on his feet. “Sit down,” she said hastily directing him back to the fallen tree and pulled his bloody shirt over his head before he could protest. Her breath caught in throat. This wasn’t his first battle - not by a long shot. Placing her box beside her, she began rummaging through it for what she needed. She pulled out a flask and unstoppered it, “Drink this,” she said, placing it to his lips. Thirsty, he threw back his head, gulping, but felt her pull the flask away, “Not all of it! I’ll need some to tend you.”

He watched her methodically place the needle and thread she’d been holding on her lap, then briskly pour some of the strong whisky on her hands, then drench a piece of cloth with the alcohol, swiping the gashes she’d made on his neck without warning. “I’m sorry, but this will sting a bit,” she murmured, before pouring the remaining whisky over his gaping wound. His breath hissed through his teeth, keeping his eyes tightly shut as he felt the needle pierce his skin, but he didn’t cry out.

He let his head fall back against the tree, and tried to breathe evenly, to concentrate on anything but the feeling of the needle weaving its way across his stomach.

“What’s your name?” He heard her ask, sounding further away than she actually was.

“Huh?”

“Your name. I hadn’t thought to ask before,” she said. Her voice was calm, her fingers steady.

“Jamie,” he replied.

“Claire.”

 _Sorcha_? he thought instantly. A word that formed like mist in his memory, in a tongue half forgotten.

“How did you come to be here, Claire?” he asked quietly, watching her face, intent on the task before her.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she said, a smile creeping in the corners of her lips. “Something tells me you’re a long way from home.”

He laughed, it was no more than a breath, but a laugh all the same. “I could say the same for you, no?”

She looked up to see his cheeky grin touch his eyes. She’d never seen anything so blue, despite fatigue lining every inch of his face and body, his gaze was sharper than the blade he’d held in his hand. But more than anything, there was deep curiosity. One that matched her own.

“My uncle,” she began haltingly, “was a scholar. He had the keeping of me ever since I was a young girl and took me with him when he traveled. But one day, we ventured too far. In his eagerness to traverse the land we lived, in search of an old monastery, we stumbled upon a rabble camp much like your own band.”

As she spoke, her fingers moving deftly, her voice lulled him, eased his pounding heart and the buzzing in his ears. He felt his body uncoil beneath her ministrations.

“As luck would have it, my uncle spoke their tongue, convinced them to spare us and in exchange we’d share his skills as a scholar and mine as a healer. We journeyed with them, over sea and land, finally settling here in the village.”

“Ye say ‘ _was_ ’ when you speak of him. Is he… Not with you anymore?” He asked. She paused her stitching a moment, her downcast face hidden behind a storm of curls.

“He left with the Earl of this place. Four moons ago. I haven’t seen or heard from him nor the Earl and his men since.” She wiped a stray tear off the tip of her nose with the back of her hand, before continuing her task.

“I’m sorry,” the berserker said, taking her hand in his, wound forgotten. She looked at him then and saw a sadness in his eyes that matched her own.

“And you, Berserker? How do come to be here?”

He smiled and looked far younger than she initially thought him to be. But as he opened his mouth to reply, a piercing yell came from the direction of the village, making them both jump.

“ _JAMIE_!” came a man’s unforgiving voice.

The berserker shot to his feet, ripping the stitches from his side.

“What are you  _doing_?!” Claire hissed at him, trying to grab at his hands to stop him.

“ _Ifrinn_! They can not see this!” he hissed back, “or they will know I’ve been tended to!”

“Then why did you let me-”

He took her by the shoulders, shaking her slightly. Once he had her attention, he held it best he could as the harsh male voice started getting closer.

“Listen to me, Claire! There is a cave north of here. Follow the creek and you’ll come upon a mass tangle of thorn bushes,” she began to argue, but he shook her again, “ _listen_! There’s a wee path to the left of the thorn bushes hidden behind an outcrop of jagged rock. Be careful going round this for the footing is perilous. Get to the cave and hide. Do not light a fire, do not leave a trail. Wait for me, I will find you!”

“I can’t leave you, not with an open wound!” she said, fear gripping her so fiercely it threatened to double her over.

“Do not fret for me, I’ll be fine! Now  _go_!” he said pushing her in the direction she needed to go. “Don’t look back!”

She grabbed her box and ran then, crashing through the brush, the sound of agitated male voices catching on the wind behind her, her heart beating so painfully in her chest, she feared it would stop altogether.

But she didn’t look back.

***


	3. Chapter 3

## Part 3.

 “ _Stick to the shallows of the riverbank_ ,” her uncle had told her once, “ _best way to leave no tracks. It’ll be slow, but you will not leave any trace in your wake._ ”

So Claire trudged through the shallows of the creek, her flimsy shoes soaked through and feeling twice as heavy. But the berserker had warned her to leave no tracks, as best she could. It slowed her down and every snap of twig and rustle of branch made her heart leap from her chest. She finally spotted the outcrop the berserker had described. And her heart sank. What he had failed to mention when describing the jagged rock, was the 50 foot drop she had to traverse around.

“Bastard…” she whispered.

She was soaked through, her feet feeling raw from being in the icy water for hours, her fingertips completely numb. She stood there debating whether it had been worth believing the berserker. As far as she could tell, he hadn’t lied. There were the thorn bushes and the jagged outcrop. Would she really doubt there was a path hidden behind, now?

With one final nervous look over her shoulder, she took a steadying breath and made her way to outcrop. The sheer drop made her dizzy. One wrong foot placement and… No, she wouldn’t -  _couldn’t_ \- think of that now. She needed cover, she needed a moment to feel safe and getting to that cave was her best option right now.

She gingerly grasped the rock, finding safe purchase for her fingers and feet. Slowly,  _very slowly_ , she moved inch and excruciating inch around the cliff face.

“Breathe, Beauchamp, just breathe,” she told herself repeatedly.

She sank to her knees when she’d finally made it round, her fingers digging into the earth, every inch of her body shaking uncontrollably. Sure enough though, when she’d mastered her emotions and heart rate, she looked up to see a sliver of a path leading to a small cave opening. She hurriedly made her way to it, pausing only a moment to grab a log nearby and throw a few rocks inside, making sure there wasn’t anything already in there. A few bats flew out making her scream like a banshee, waving her log erratically over her head. Once the coast was clear, she finally settled down inside, feeling like she could breathe for the first time that day.

“ _Do not light a fire,_ ” the berserker had said. “Easy for you to say,” she murmured. As cold as it was, she wouldn’t have been able even if she wanted to. She had no kindling, no flint, no way of keeping herself at all warm, but if it meant having a few hours of safety, she’d gladly sit in the unforgiving dank cold. She curled up at the back of the cave, knees tightly clenched to her chest and watched the cave’s entrance. It had become near pitch black outside. There would be no moon tonight.

***

She was woken from a fretful sleep by a hand on her ankle that sent her careening off the wall, her still clutched log swinging wildly.

And indignant “Ouch!” and string of curses cut through the darkness.

“Jamie?” she asked tentatively, pausing her frantic assault.

“Yes, dammit!” he said, sitting down with a thump at her feet.

“You really need to stop sneaking up on me,” she chided.

“I did not  _sneak_ , woman, I called your name a few times but you did not answer. I was worried you had frozen to death,” he answered, and she could hear the worry in his voice.

“Yes, well, I’m not dead. Just sleeping,” she said defensively. She couldn’t really see him in the dark, in fact he just looked like a huge black lump, but could hear his labored breathing and exhausted sighs. “Are you alright?”

“Aside from almost just getting brained,” he said, faux irritation lacing his words, “I’ll do.”

She let out a breath of a laugh and blindly reached for him. She felt him tense as her arms came round his shoulders and at once relax as her body came into contact with his, as she gave him a fierce hug.

“Thank you,” she whispered, voice cracking, “I didn’t get a chance to say it earlier, but thank you for all you did for me today.”

His arm snaked around her, holding her gently. They held each other so for a long time, their bodies truly calming for the first time that day under the feel of the comforting touch. She shifted slightly, her knee brushing his side accidently, making him hiss and the sudden flash of memory raced through her.

“Your wound,” she said, pulling away, her hands grasping his shoulders. She couldn’t see past her own nose in the cave’s darkness.

“I’ve dealt with it,” he tried to assure her.

“Light a fire,” she ordered. She needed to see. To see him.

“We cannot, it’s too dange-”

“A small one. No one can see the cave’s mouth from beyond the thorn bushes. Now, please, just light one.”

He sighed, grumbling to himself as he got to his feet and lumbered outside to get what he’d need. He came back a few minutes later and had no trouble getting a fire going. The cave came to life under the tiny flames, throwing eerie shadows all around them, but Claire had eyes only for the berserker.

“Why must you always be covered in blood?” she asked sadly, as she moved toward him and lifted his shirt.

“Can’t be helped, I’m afraid,” he replied, shutting his eyes and leaning back, letting her do as she would.

Her breath caught in her throat. “What have you done?” It was a purely rhetorical question. She knew exactly what he’d done and couldn’t believe it. Where the long gaping gash once was, was now charred, blackened skin, covered in angry red blisters the length of his side just below his ribcage. He’d sealed it with an extremely hot blade. “Did you do this yourself?”

“Aye,” he simply said.

They looked at each other for a long time, his blue eyes piercing through her. She couldn’t fathom how anyone would be able to sit through something so painful, let alone being able to do it yourself. And judging by the relative neatness of the burn, he had sat as still as a statue as he did it too.

“I have a salve that will ease the sting and tightness,” she said quietly, her knees going weak under the intensity of his gaze. She saw him shake himself slightly, pulling himself back to the present. He nodded and she pulled her medicine box towards her. With the lightest of touches, she began to apply the most horrendously smelling salve he’d ever come across. He wrinkled his nose, making her laugh. “I know, I know, but it works like a charm.”

She worked in silence for a few minutes, the question she had been aching to ask him from first they met burning through her. She heard him sigh, he’d shut his eyes again when she’d started her ministrations.

“I can hear you thinking. Out with it,” he said tiredly.

She smiled despite herself. She finished applying the salve and began tending to the small nicks and scrapes she could see. Without looking at him, she asked, “Will you tell me who you are?”

He turned his head away towards the cave’s entrance, his lips pressed together.

“You speak my tongue, you got me out of the village. Why would you risk yourself for someone you don’t even know?” she pressed on.

“I told you, I just needed to save one person if I could. I had -  _have_ \- seen enough bloodshed. I just needed…” he let out a sigh.

“Jamie,” she said gently and took his hand in hers. “Look at me, please.” He slowly turned to look at her, eyes sad and heavy with guilt. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“I do not want to put you in any more harm than I already have! And the knowing of it… Claire,” the way he said her name sent a shiver down her spine, “the knowing of it will put you right in the path of the danger I wish to spare you from.”

“I think it’s far too late for that,” she said smiling back at him, but he shook his head.

“I had not thought passed getting you out of the village. I don’t know what to do now.”

She put her hand over his racing heart. “You share the burden, that is what you do. As I did with you when I trusted you today to keep me safe. Now you can trust me to keep you safe.”

Jamie brought his hand to cover hers where it rested on his chest and squeezed it tightly.

“Seven years ago, I was taken from my home and brought here as part of a peace treaty between my father and uncles. A peace treaty that now hangs in the balance once more, as war threatens to break out between my uncles.”

***


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The slight change of names given to Jamie’s Viking side of the family are the closest Norse approximations (that I could find) to their Scots names.

## Part 4.

 

 “I was sixteen years old when I came here. When I was  _brought_ here,” he began hesitantly. “My family had been feuding for longer than I had been alive. Ever since my parents met. My mother Elin was a shield maiden, part of her brother Dufgall’s raiding party. They landed in  _Scotia_ \- Scotland,” he said the word so fondly, Claire had to swallow the lump that had risen in her throat. “And began raiding what little villages they could find. Finally, to protect their people and land, the Lairds of Scotland held a great Gathering to try and come to terms with the Norsemen; To ensure a stop to the bloodshed and bring peace, they were willing to part with portions of what fertile land they had for the Norsemen to settle on. And should the Norsemen choose to journey further south beyond their lands, they would not interfere.”

Claire had heard of the Great Gathering. It was hard to find anyone who had not. The stories of war and death in the North were legendary. And the stuff of nightmares.

“On the night of the Gathering though, my mother met my father - a soon-to-be Laird of a great Clan. They fell in love at first sight and in the dead of night, stole away together. They risked everything to be together, risked the very treaty itself. But the then leader of the Norseman party and eldest of my mother’s brothers,” he paused, unsure how to go on without scaring her. He swallowed heavily, “Kalman, the Boneless,” Jamie felt her stiffen,  _she knew the name_ , “Earl at the time of a loosely united Norse kingdom - who rarely traveled such long distances - had journeyed to Scotland for the Gathering and chose to overlook what he saw as his sister’s disobedience, in exchange for any sons they may have. My grandfather agreed to this - unbeknownst to my parents at the time.” He let out a long sigh, his eyes fixed on the cave’s ceiling. “My parents soon found out though and vowed to keep any sons they had secret. And for the most part, the men and women of my father’s clan were loyal to the death for him and not his callous father, never breathing a word of not only one son, but two.” He went quiet then, his throat bobbing furiously as he tried to swallow whatever emotions the telling had conjured for him.

“How did they find about you?” Claire asked, voice cracking with disuse. He looked at her then, the first time he had since beginning his story. His eyes brimmed with heartbreak.

“When William - my brother - turned sixteen, my parents invited a famous bard to sing at the celebration. They did not know he was popular amongst the Norsemen as well. Word got out that the Fraser laird’s boy had come of age. It was two years before my uncle came round to our place. By that time _I_ was turning sixteen. It was my uncle’s intention to take us both, but Willie would not have it. He… fought back. He was willing to go with them, but only if they left me. They struck him down where he stood.”

Claire took his hands in hers and didn’t bother to stop that tear that rolled down her cheek. “I am so sorry, Jamie,” she said, and his face changed then, going softer than it had been all day.

“You know, I haven’t heard my name being said with such genuine kindness since I left home? Or at all for that matter,” he said a little surprised, squeezing her hands in return. “My uncle gave my parents an ultimatum that night: Give me up and maintain the peace treaty that stood between the two families - between the Clans and Norsemen - or bury two sons that night and bring all out war to the lands that had known peace for the better part of 20 years.”

The night had hushed, as if it too had been listening to the berserker’s tale, a light wind whistled past the cave mouth the only sound around them.

“And so, here you are,” Claire said sadly.

“And so here I am…” he echoed.

***

The morning dawned frigidly cold, their fire having burnt down to sad little embers. Claire stirred, coming slowly to the surface of consciousness to realize she’d curled up against the berserker’s side like a kitten, his indescribable warmth the only thing between her and freezing to death.

He’d been physically and emotionally exhausted by the time they’d finished talking that he just simply lay down by the fire and slept. They hadn’t much clothes between them and the damp cold in the cave must have made them snap together like magnets - not that she was complaining. She was glad to share what warmth they could.

She watched him sleep for a few minutes and even though he slept with his dagger clenched tightly in his hand, his face had eased into a quiet calm. What had it taken for him to confide his true identity to her? For she had no reason to disbelieve him. She felt beyond doubt his words to be true. He took no pride in the telling, no eagerness in claiming his fraught identity. She found she did not fear for herself in the knowing of who he was, but for him and the double edged sword he stood upon. And as much as his story was overwhelming, she knew it was by no means complete.

He began to stir, the early morning rustling of animals outside their cave bringing him fully out of a light sleep. He turned his head slowly towards her and was startled to see her awake and watching him, but at once the look of startlement was replaced by one of comfort.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked, voice still heavy with sleep.

“Not at all,” she said honestly. “You?”

He stretched out, letting out a groan as his joints popped. “Better than I have in a very long time,” he replied, much to her surprise.

Her stomach suddenly growled unbecomingly, making Jamie laugh - a pleasant rumble that sent a shiver down her spine - and she realized the last time she’d eaten anything was at breakfast the day before.

“Don’t you laugh!” she said, smiling despite herself.

He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eye and ruffled his hair roughly. “I’ll go get us something to eat,” he said, still laughing lightly, “get the fire going again?” She nodded as he bustled off.

A while later, Claire had finally gotten a respectable fire crackling as Jamie returned with two fish in hand.

“It isn’t much, but it’ll do for now,” he shrugged apologetically.

They went about preparing the fish in a companionable silence. Neither one ready to face the looming unknown ahead of them. A future that held no guarantees, no security, but a darkness they were yet to find a way to navigate through. Whether together or separately, their lives stood precariously in the balance.

They dawdled when it finally came time to leave their temporary refuge, taking far longer than was strictly necessary. Jamie irritably stomped the fire out and watched as Claire rummaged through her medicine box for a third time.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, bringing her attention back to him. “My uncle’s group is starting preparations to head back to Kattegat today. The journey will be long and slow, perhaps taking up to two moons to get back there. But your best chance of getting back to your land - to safety - is through Kattegat. If we’re careful, I think I can get you there.”

“Will there be a party ready to sail this late in the year? And I honestly do not wish to travel with your band, Jamie…” she finished hesitantly, the residual fear from the day before rising up once more.

He shook his head, “no, not this late in the season, the earliest anyone will risk the journey across the water is next spring. And you won’t be traveling with us, I will not risk my uncle ever knowing of you. You will travel parallel to us. I know every inch of this land as if it were my own,” he said, cold and cheerlessly.

 _In seven years, he’s never viewed this place as home_ , she thought,  _same as I._

“I can guide you through passes that will be unencumbered by my uncle’s men,” he continued, “I cannot tell you it will be a safe journey, because it will not be, but at least it is better than traveling the land blind.”

She stood staring at him for a long time. He was risking so much for her and she could not understand why. Why her in amongst the hundreds he had undoubtedly come across. She didn’t have time to ask for he’d already started mapping out the first leg of the route she was to take, with the promise of seeing her within a day or two with some much needed supplies. She was roughly familiar with the areas he described but none of the hidden spots he pointed out.

Within an hour they’d both set off in opposite directions; Jamie back towards his uncle’s camp, Claire - with Jamie’s dagger in hand - set off towards the mountain passes, with only the breath of a hope she would ever see the berserker again.

***


	5. Chapter 5

## Part 5.

 

 Jamie had not been lying. The journey over the next four days had been the hardest yet of Claire’s life. Apart from the dagger he had given her and her medicine box, she had no food, no clothes that afforded her any warmth and no means of knowing what was happening around her. On her fourth night however, as she set up her meager camp for the night, she spotted pinpricks of campfires in the valley below and let out a sigh of relief. She’d at least managed to keep within range of the war party - and Jamie - without getting lost.

She was about to sit down to her supper of what little edible plants she’d found along the way, when she heard a rustle in the trees beyond her fire. She hastily grabbed the dagger, hoping it was nothing more than some harmless woodland animal. Her heart skipped a beat though, when she saw the berserker emerge from darkness, an animal skin pack slung over his shoulder and two dead rabbits on his belt.

She stood up hastily, torn between rushing into his arms and holding on to whatever proprietary she had left. She did not hide the relieved smile that blossomed on her face at the sight of him though. And neither did he hide his.

“I’m sorry I could not come to you sooner. It has been difficult to find an opportunity to leave the camp,” he said, setting the pack down, his eyes never leaving hers.

“You’re here now,” Claire replied, moving around the fire to him.

“I cannot stay long,” he said, bending down and opening the pack, “It is my uncle’s name day tonight, but I wanted to get these to you as soon as I could.” He pulled out a thick woolen tunic and breeks, sturdy boots, socks and belt with a scabbard for the dagger, a fur mantle and most importantly, a thick fur hooded cloak. She almost cried from joy.  _Warmth_. “I did not know your size exactly, but I think they’ll fit you fine. They belonged to some of the young boys in the camp. I do not think they will notice a few random items missing.”

“Thank you, Jamie. This… you really did not have to do all this for me,” she said sitting down beside him, “I cannot tell you how much this means though. It has been a…  _tricky_  few days.”

“It’s nothing,” he said with a shrug, not meeting her eye. “I wanted to. I-”

He noticed then, her bare feet wrapped in a sharp smelling plant, her flimsy shoes having been torn away during her journey. A stab of guilt pierced through him seeing the raw, broken and cracked soles of her feet, seeing what she endured already to keep up with them. He unthinkingly reached out a finger and gently ran it down her foot. “I’m sorry,” he said, barely above a whisper.

“It’s nothing that won’t heal with time. These help,” she gestured at the leaves and pulled out the salve from her box she’d been using, “they manage the pain and keep the sores from festering, and bringing fever and such.”

He nodded, taking the salve from her, and without a word and ignoring her protests, took her feet in his lap and began softly applying the sharp smelling salve to her feet. Claire thought she should have found it strange he should do so, but she didn’t. She watched him quietly as his calloused fingers slowly worked the salve into her skin.

“How did you get away? Will they not wonder where you are during your uncle’s celebration?” She asked after a while.

“No, I think not. They are all quite taken with drink tonight. I simply said I was going out to hunt and walked out. It is not so unusual for me to do so. As long as I return… I always do.”

He had said the words mildly enough, but she could hear the frustration and animosity that underlined them all.

“I thought the pack would be the tricky thing to get out, but it turned out not to be when everyone’s attention was elsewhere,” he continued.

After he had finished with the salve, they began cooking the rabbits he’d brought. Claire knew their time together would be short, but she was determined to make the best of it. God knew when she would see him next. In the pocket of quiet security they found themselves in, they spoke genially for the first time about simple mundane day to day things, the hyper survival mode they had been in for days finally giving way to a more human companionability between them. Jamie gave her a quick tutorial on how to set up a simple yet effective snare, how to shield her fire and how to use what little fishing line he had, while Claire gave him the salve she’d used for his burn wound with a promise to make him more when she could and how to clean his cuts and scrapes with whatever alcohol he had.

They tried hard to steer clear of the subjects of his uncles - at least for one night - but Claire couldn’t keep from thinking about her own.

“When my uncle did not return I went looking for him,” she confided in Jamie, “I had been traveling to the neighbouring villages to see if I could find any word of him. I had only just returned to the village, intending to stay a few days, resupply and head back out, when your uncle’s horde struck,” she finished quietly.

“You say your uncle left with the Earl of that place?” She nodded. “Do you by chance know why my uncle’s been raiding?”

“Only the rumors that there had been some sort of fracture between the brothers,” she replied.

“You could say that. Over the years, Dufgall grew tired of serving Kalman, resented the fact that he was the conqueror while Kalman got the distinction of ‘Earl’ - without having to ever leave Kattegat - and he only the title of war chief. He believes himself the true Earl. When the brothers fought, Dufgall left with those few men loyal to him to build himself a war party big enough to eventually take on Kattegat. Meanwhile, Kalman called on all the Earls still loyal to him to Kattegat to swear fealty to him. I believe Dufgall got wind of this and has been raiding any hamlet whose Earl left for Kalman’s Gathering. Your uncle may very well be there now.”

Claire sat back and stared at the berserker. If what he said was true and Lamb really was in Kattegat, perhaps it really had been fate to meet the berserker all along. Then a thought struck her.

“But if Dufgall left with those loyal to him…” she saw understanding settle in his eyes.

“You wonder why I am with his party? With the brothers relationship in turmoil, Kalman asked me to. He offered me my freedom in exchange of gaining Dufgall’s favor,” he said, poking at the fire. “Kalman may get the reputation of being ruthless and unforgiving, but he’s fair -  _diplomatic_ \- when he needs to be. It’s Dufgall that has an unquenchable thirst for blood. He has always been the hand that brutally wielded the sword - with pleasure - for Kalman. I thought accepting Kalman’s offer and getting out of Kattegat would be my best chance of slipping away on my own terms. But it is has been…  _tricky,_ ” he finished, giving her a surprisingly cheeky grin.

Claire let out a sigh, she’d been unable to take her eyes off him all night, wanting to take in every detail before he left. “You live a very complicated life, berserker,” she said with a sad smile.

“Not by choice, I can assure you,” he replied, his smile broadening.

***

The next few weeks had been a trial of perseverance. Of strength of will. The supplies Jamie had brought Claire had made a world of difference, allowing her the ability to move with more confidence and freedom, and most of all, keeping the cold at bay. As the days went by, she became more adept at setting up the snares Jamie had taught her and while she’d been as yet unsuccessful at handling the fishing line, she’d been able to catch a fair few squirrels with the snare giving her a sense of pride she didn’t know she could have.

She saw the berserker sporadically. Only able to get away under the guise of going hunting, he had only been able to stay just a few hours at a time when he did find her. But they were hours she’d come to cherish and she knew he had too. She’d see the tension leave his shoulders whenever he saw her, see the light touch his eyes when she made him smile. His language too, which - even though had been fluent - had been heavy, labored and carried on odd formality to it from disuse, had begun to regain some of its ease, hints of his former accent cutting through the years to self training to forget. And as always, when it came time to part once more, she felt the reluctance in him to do so. It always filled her with a sadness to see him leave. He’d become far more than just her rescuer, he’d become her friend. 

Claire found herself watching the tiny campfires in the valley below each night, unable to stop herself from wondering if the berserker too was looking up.

***

It had been well over a week since she’d last seen the berserker. And while she’d become quite capable at fending for herself, she missed his company, his laughter, the way he wrinkled his nose at her but still ate what edible plants she found. Her ears were constantly alert, always hoping to hear those telltale signs of his approach. But none came. With each passing day, hour, minute, her worry rose.

The mountain pass had begun to narrow as Jamie said it would, and urged her to be on her guard when it did so. She still had the higher ground, but she was close enough to their camp that if the wind blew  _just_ right, she could catch a clash of steel or rough howl or whiff of roasting meat. 

She’d chosen to camp in a small cavity in the mountain - not really a cave, but enough of a shelter from the elements as she could find. A light rain shower had been falling all day, which in turn made finding any sort of dry wood for her fire near impossible, forcing her to huddle as best she could in her tiny shelter, eating a cold dinner of what little reserves she had in her pack.

As the rain lulled her into a doze, she heard an ungainly crashing coming towards her. Claire pulled out her knife and sat as still as she could, barely trusting a breath to be quiet enough. As much as she wanted to call out for Jamie, she knew he’d never make such a racket. Agitated voices rose as the men - two men by her guess - got closer.

 _Stay or flee_?! She debated with herself as the Norsemen came into view. There were a few low bushes in between her and them, but it was still piss poor cover. As she considered whether the now downpour and thunder would be enough to mask any noise she’d make should she move, she caught snippets of their conversation.

“ _Are you sure he came this way?_ ” the tall, gangly one said, voice rough and grating in that foreign tongue of theirs.

“ _No, but we’ve looked everywhere else,_ ” the other answered, his long, matted hair plastered to his brutish face.

“ _He’s probably headed back to camp by now. No one is doing any hunting in this weather._ ”

“ _If we go back without him_ -”

 _“If he gets back without us…_ ”

They stood staring at each other, weighing their options. Neither option seemed all that appealing to either of them, the tall one started walking around, unable to think while standing still. As he did so a flash of lightning illuminated the little area and he caught a glimpse of Claire, crouched with arms outstretched, her knife clasped in both hands. They both let out unbecoming yelps, the tall man however, regaining his composure faster than Claire could. The brutish one turned at once and saw her too, both men immediately moved slowly to flank her.

“ _Well, hello,_ ” said the brute, walking with forced casualness to her left.

“ _What is a beautiful thing like you doing out here, alone, on a night such as this,_ ” said the tall one, moving to her right.

Claire stood from her crouch, pointing her knife from one to the another and back again. “ _Stay back_!” she shouted with as much authority she could muster - which wasn’t much. Between shivers of cold and fear, her voice shook uncontrollably.

“ _We are not going to hurt you,_ ” the tall one said, getting closer. She slashed through the air at him, keeping him at bay.

“ _No, no, no._ We  _won’t hurt you. But if we take you back for the Earl. A gift in apology for losing the boy_ …” the brute sneered and made to grab her arm.

She swung wildly and felt the impact of her blade coming in contact with him, leaving a long gash in his forearm as he raised his hand to block her strike, knocking the knife from her hand in the process.

“ _Why you little_ …” he grunted furiously, pulling his own blade from it’s sheath and pointed it her, then added indignantly to his friend, “ _she nicked me!”_

“ _Oh, you are going to regret that, I’m afraid_ ,” the tall one said.

“ _No_ …” a deep voice growled from the darkness.

It was simultaneously the most frightening and the most comforting thing Claire had ever heard in her life. She felt rather than saw him nimbly move behind the tall man, who was nowhere near as towering a presence as her berserker and in one unsettlingly swift and fluid motion, Jamie wrapped his arm around the tall man’s head yanking it backwards, slitting his throat from ear to ear, before sending the bloodied dagger whistling through the air and right into the brute’s neck, before either of the men could so much as take a breath at his sudden appearance.

“… _You will_ ,” Jamie said, voice devoid of any feeling as their dead weight crashed to the ground at the same time.

***


	6. Chapter 6

## Part 6.

 

 Claire stood transfixed, pressed hard against the rock wall. Her mind had gone completely blank, everything had happened so quickly that her mind just hadn’t had time to catch up to the scene in front of her. Jamie’s unreadable face was splattered with blood, the two men lay limp, unmoving. Claire’s entire being felt numb, not even the beating rain against her body registered any feeling.

“Claire?” the berserker said gently, barely audible over the now pounding rain. “Claire?”

She didn’t respond, just continued staring blankly at the bodies.

Jamie half lifted his arms, his face finally regaining a gentle, kind and human expression, and moved towards her slowly, as if approaching a spooked animal about to bolt at any moment. He reached out tentatively, inch by inch, for her hand. She didn’t bolt though as he grazed his fingertips against hers. Emboldened by that, he stepped closer - blocking the bodies from view - to her and brushed his hands up her arms until they came to cup her face, forcing her to look up at him.

“Claire,” he said, giving her a gentle shake, making her eyes finally focus on him. “You are alive. You are whole. All is well.”

She stared at him a moment before her hands floated up and stopped at his chest, where she slowly gripped the front of his shirt, tighter and tighter till her knuckles went white.

“There’s someone else out here,” she managed to gasp out desperately, “they were looking for someone else!”

“Aye, I know. It was me they were searching for,” he said, thumb lightly stroking her cheek. “Dufgall started sending them out with me whenever I said I was going hunting. That is why I haven’t been able to come see you.”

She nodded, his words slowly sinking in. Her grip loosened but didn’t let go of his shirt. She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath, her forehead landing heavily in the centre of his chest. He rested his chin on the crown of her head and rubbed her back reassuringly for a long time, till he felt her shaking start to ebb away. She still shook a little but more from the cold now he thought.

“Why?” he heard her ask, voice muffled by his shirt.

“He grew suspicious of my hunting trips. Even though we hunt a lot, he found the frequency with which I did strange. He sent these two to see what it was I did out here,” he explained.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried, shaking her head. “I’ve been nothing but trouble for you!”

He leaned back and tilted her chin up with his finger, bringing her to meet his eye, her own brimming with tears. “What are you talking about?” he said in disbelief, “you have nothing to be sorry for. Don’t you see, for so long I’ve been living in the shadows, then I saw you standing there, in that barn and it was as if the sun came out.” He ran his fingers through her hair as he spoke, voice tender. “I’m grateful you are here. No matter the cost.”

She smiled at him shyly, tears forgotten. She used the edge of her cloak to gently wipe away the blood that had sprayed across his face, his eyes closing at her touch. “Why must you always be covered in blood,” she murmured, making him smile, before wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him into a tight embrace and felt him bury his face into her neck and taking a deep breath as his arms went about her like a vice.

“What now?” she whispered after a long while.

“Now,” he said into her hair, “you have to stab me.”

She held him a fraction longer, unsure she had heard him properly. Then very slowly, she disentangled herself from his embrace and held him by the shoulders at arms length, searching his for any sign of jest, for  _surely_ he was joking.

He wasn’t.

***

“Absolutely not.”

“You must.”

“Why must I? Why must you hurt yourself further. No, Jamie, there has to be a better way!”

He sat cross legged beside her and rubbed the tiredness from his eyes. They’d been at this for an hour already. The torrential downpour mercifully having long stopped. “If there is, I cannot think of it. Claire,” he said her name with such pleading, her heart skipped a beat, “I do not know how to explain this other than that we were set upon while hunting.”

“And they  _may_ believe you if you too are injured, I know, but I will not hurt you!”

 _God, she’s a stubborn woman!_  he thought, exasperated.

“I’m not asking you to hurt me, I’m asking you to injure me…  _Slightly_ ,” he said for the umpteenth time.

She got up and roamed their little shelter, then gestured at the carcass of the deer he’d dropped, along with his bow and quiver, when he’d first crept up on the two men.

“Say you were hunting - which you were. Say you got separated during the chase for the deer - which you were. Say the rain washed away any tracks leading back to the two men -”

“- Which it wasn’t.”

“Say you looked, but didn’t find them,” she powered through, ignoring his interruption, “and decided to head back to camp with your kill, thinking they’d done the same once the storm passed. Say anything that doesn’t require you being hurt.”

He stood up too and crossed his arms, a bemused look on his face. Then, very deliberately, walked towards her, pulling out his dagger as he did so and grabbed her hand, palming her dagger.

“I’m asking you, Claire. As a friend. Please do this.”

“We can run,” she said desperately. “Right now, you and I, we can just run! Don’t go back, let us make for the coastland with all haste-”

“I wish we could,” he said, cutting across her plea, “I honestly wish we could, but if I do not return, my uncle  _will_ send his best trackers after us. And not even I can outrun them. We would never make it. Not like this.”

She stared at him for a moment. He truly believed this was his only way. Her fingers curled around the hilt of the dagger and she swallowed heavily. “Fine! Bloody fine!” She’d try. For him.

Seeing her nod, he stood back and tapped his right shoulder. “Here,” he said needlessly, making her roll her eyes.

She shifted from foot to foot, trying to find a solid stance and took a few steadying breaths in the process. She stretched her arm out, the blade’s tip an inch away from his shoulder and retracted it. Back and forth she measured her blow.

“Alright, are you ready?” She asked. He nodded, planting his feet.

She measured a couple more times, then said a prayer and lunged. But her instinct not to hurt him overrode what flimsy resolve she had for this stupid endeavor and she pulled back at the last second, only poking him harmlessly with the dagger, causing his shoulder to sway backward slightly. She hadn’t even broken through his shirt. He stared at her dumbfounded.

“What was that?” he asked.

“Just give me a moment, please,” she said, turning away from him and tried shaking off the nerves.

Turning back to him, she attempted the maneuver a few more times, but was simply unable to bring herself to do it, much to Jamie’s frustration.

“Perhaps the bow?” he suggested, thinking the distance might help her.

“And risk shooting you in the face? No. Besides, I’ve never shot an arrow in my life,” she retorted.

“God, woman, but you are hard-headed!” he exclaimed. “I’ll do it myself, then,” he said, grabbing the dagger and pressed the tip to his shoulder, readying himself for the coming impact.

“No!” Claire burst out and took hold of his forearm, the tendons taut with anticipation. “No, you bloody will not! Jamie please listen to me,” she implored, “I have done everything you have ask of me, traveled as you have instructed, followed your every word without question for weeks. But now, I beg you follow mine. Just once, do as  _I_ ask.” She pulled the dagger from his hand with little resistance and threw it to the ground, but didn’t let go of him. “Take your kill back to camp,” she said, nodding towards the deer, “and feign ignorance about their whereabouts. Tell them… mountain passes were washed away, plant the seed that they may have been caught in a mudslide or perhaps that it is only a matter of time before they catch up once they found a safe route back to camp. Spin them any tale you need to that for once isn’t drenched in more violence.”

She saw the argument bubbling beneath the surface, but to her immense relief, he relented.

“I’ll do as you ask,” he said quietly.

“Give me your word you won’t just walk out of here and stab yourself anyway.”

She saw that cheeky grin of his slowly bloom as he looked up at her, cocking his eyebrow mutinously, but, “you have my word, Claire,” he said earnestly.

***

Dawn was slowly beginning to creep up the horizon by the time they’d found a deep, narrow ravine to hide the bodies and Jamie was ready to head back to camp.

But he hesitated.

“Claire, I need to tell you something,” he began ominously, making her stomach drop uncomfortably. “We are about two and half weeks away from Kattegat. I do not know what will await me back at camp or if I’ll be able to see you again, should this plan not work.” He grabbed her shoulders as she began to argue and gave a reassuring squeeze. “I’ve given you my word, I will see this plan through, no matter the outcome. But should I not return, you must continue ahead. You must promise me you will make it to Kattegat.” He waited until she reluctantly nodded, and continued, “once you get there, do not go straight to Kalman’s stronghold. I have a man in Kattegat. You must find him. He goes by the name of Mordur. Go to the waterfront, ask for him, you will find him there. Tell him…” Jamie paused then, thinking of how best to convey the message he needed to send. “Tell him  _Seamus Ruadh_  sent you. You can trust him. Tell him everything, he’ll help you. Can you remember it all?”

Claire nodded again. “Find Mordur at the waterfront, tell him  _Seamus Ruadh_  sent me,” she repeated confidently. He smiled at her.

“Go with God, Claire,” he said, leaning down and kissing her forehead, then rested his own against hers. “I pray we will see each other again.”

She gave him a fierce hug then, putting into it all the words she could not say yet. And picking up his bow and quiver and slinging the carcass over his shoulders, he gave her one final nod as he walked away and was gone once more. Claire knew in that moment, their hearts would never be the same again.

***


	7. Chapter 7

## Part 7.

 

 Jamie paused in the shadow of the tree line just as his uncle’s camp came into view. He shifted the deer carcass - the dead weight had been cutting into his shoulders uncomfortably as he’d navigated the soft, uneven, muddy terrain - trying to distribute the weight more evenly. He’d spent the entire journey back thinking what he’d say, more importantly  _how_ he’d say it - it had been a long time since he’d had to play at subtle deception.

But now as he glimpsed the two sentries at the camp’s entrance, he took a moment to let his mind wander as it often did to Claire. Shutting his eyes, her pale, ivory skin vividly swam into his mind’s eye. The softness of her skin beneath his calloused touch. The rich, heady herbal scent that clung to her curly hair and body that always threatened to undo him. Her gentle touch. Her soft laugh. Her voice that soothed him even at his most visceral. Her utter stubbornness that he couldn’t help but smile at the memory of now.

He’d known better than to ask such a thing of her. She was a healer. She had always been so. But for so long, he’d learned only blood was the answer. Only violence… Now, she was teaching him to think of other ways, to relearn and use parts of himself he’d long locked away. Like his compassion and humor. She’d given him back his tenderness as he’d given her his courage. And now she’d given him back his cunning. A way to strike without having to lift his sword.

He adjusted the deer once more and confidently walked out of the shadows and into the dull morning sun, nodding at the sentries as he went by. He found his uncle exactly where he’d known he’d be this early in the morning - at the training pits - and dropped the carcass without ceremony at his feet.

“ _Good morrow, uncle_ ,” he said formally yet pleasantly enough. Dufgall didn’t take his eyes off the sparring boys.

“ _Where are Mor and Robert_?” he demanded by way of greeting.

“ _We were separated hunting this one_ ,” Jamie said, poking the deer with his toe.

“ _Were you now_?”

“ _I couldn’t find their trail once the storm hit and washed away the paths. Took cover till morning. Are they not back yet?_ ” he asked, voice honest and curious, he’d almost believed himself if he hadn’t known the truth.

“ _No_.” Dufgall looked at him then, taking in his ragged, wet clothes, splattered with mud and blood, then at the deer (whose throat Jamie had cut to mask what blood he had on him).

Jamie shrugged, unperturbed by his uncle’s tone. “ _They’ll be back soon enough, once they find a way back down. They aren’t likely to go long before needing a horn or two of ale_ ,” he said, stretching his arms above his head, back popping from the strain and making to walk away. His uncle snorted and eyed him dubiously but said nothing.

But as Jamie meandered his way to his tent, his uncle called to him. “ _Have them come see me the moment they are back in camp_ ,” he said coldly, his voice betraying nothing but contempt and mistrust. “ _Oh, and Ivar will be taking over hunting duties from now on._ ” With that, Dufgall went back to watching the sparring, leaving Jamie with an uncomfortable shiver running down his spine.

***

Claire traveled hard over the next two weeks, sometimes traveling all night when the moon was full and skies clear, making sure to keep well clear of the marauding horde. She knew she had gotten ahead of them when she stopped seeing the fires at night. And in those dark nights alone, she ached for Jamie, but he never returned to her. She’d sent him back and he’d asked for one thing in return and for him, she’d endure. She’d endure the terrain, endure the harsh weather. She’d endure the loneliness and pain of being without him and make it to Kattegat. If she was to never know his fate, it was all she could give him now. Her promise kept.

The days began to blur together. She fell into an unending routine of survival, a forward momentum that was driven only by her thoughts of Jamie. Two and a half weeks he’d said, but it felt like a lifetime before she saw the worn wagon paths come into clearer view in the mountain passes. A tell tale sign she was getting close.

It was another three days before Kattegat came into view, the village’s expanse nestled comfortably in the valley below. She could see even from this distance the boats - mere pinpricks - moored at the waterfront. Her destination.

Her grip on her pack’s strap tightened reflexively as she could feel the restless energy that hung over the village as she entered. A nervous, palpable tension ran through it. They knew what was heading their way. She had only been through Kattegat once when her and her uncle arrived with their captors - or rather  _hosts_ as they liked to call themselves. And hosts they were once Lamb had struck his bargain with the Earl.

Claire slowly wove her way through the throngs of people, the village buzzing with activity. It felt good to be among people again, Claire thought - alive and vibrant. Mothers calling to their children, merchants selling their wares, the clash of steel in the distance of warriors in training. She finally had a chance to lose herself in the bustling masses.

The smell of brine and fish reached her before the sight of the waterfront did. She began asking anyone she could around the simple shipyard for Mordur, but none seemed all that patient or willing to help. She slowly made her way along the waterfront, having to contend with either vulgar catcalls or thoroughly indifferent men. If they knew who he was, none were saying. Eventually though a young boy with a string of fish pointed her towards a scruffy looking man sharpening a knife along a whetstone, as he sat on an upturned barrel, his beard dominant on an otherwise grimy, humorless face.

“ _Are you_ …” She began tentatively, trying to gauge the man before her. “ _Are you Mordur_?”

He spat on the whetstone and kept grinding his blade against it. “ _Who asks_?”

“ _My name is_  Claire,” she said, stepping closer to him.

At her name, his head snapped up, his sharpening ceasing. He knew she wasn’t one of them.

“ _I am Mordur,_ ” he confirmed, standing up. “How can I help ye, lass,” he said, lowering his voice and switching languages so abruptly, it took Claire a moment to realize he even had.

She stood watching the man, uncertain she could really trust him, if he was who he truly said he was. But she’d made it this far on Jamie’s word alone, trusted he wasn’t playing her false. She took a deep breath and kept her word.

“I was sent to find you,” she said, looking beyond the man’s bushy beard and into his eyes, gauging his reaction.

“By who?”

“ _Seamus Ruadh_.”

A myriad of emotions flashed across the man’s face - shock, hope, confusion, joy and above all else, understanding.

“Aye,” he said, his face cracking with a surprising smile. “The numpty would be the only person I ken destined to find the only other  _Sassenach_ here to send my way,” he laughed, and for the first time since Claire had said goodbye to Jamie that fateful night, she finally felt she wasn’t so vulnerably alone anymore.

***


	8. Chapter 8

## Part 8.

 

 The next few hours went by like a blur. Mordur spirited her away from the waterfront, talking in low tones whenever around any Norsemen, making sure Claire kept her hood up. She’d tried giving him a brief recount of what had happened, but he’d given her terse “not here,” and they’d kept moving in relative silence.

They moved towards the outskirts of Kattegat and through a heavily wooded area. To Claire it seemed they wove through the woods aimlessly, keeping no mind as to where he was taking her. But to Mordur’s sure footing, he seemed to know exactly where he was going. If she’d been with anyone else other than Jamie, she’d have begun to worry, but he was Jamie’s man and for that alone he had her trust.

After a while, Claire began to make out in amongst the trees, the rough shape of a cottage, obscured masterfully by the foliage around it. She wouldn’t have even noticed it there had Mordur not pointed it out. It was small with a thatched roof, old logs of firewood were stacked against the side wall next to a low chopping block. A small, neat clearing in front of the doorway came into view.

As Mordur made for the front door, Claire hovered nervously in the clearing. She’d had questions bubbling up inside her throughout their journey, but tired and drained as she was, she was at a loss for how to broach the subject.

“Dinna loiter,” Mordur said sternly, opening the door and ushering her inside.

“Who are you to Jamie?” she blurted out, arms tightly crossed about her.

Mordur stood staring at her for a moment, his face unreadable. Then turned and walked towards her. “I’m the lad’s godfather. A few years back, his mother begged me to come and watch over him, even if it were from a distance. No one was to know, so I took up a false name, one of  _theirs_ and built this place so we could have a place to meet wi’out having to worry aboot curious eyes on us. No one here kens that but you now. The lad trusted ye to me, so I trust ye. For his sake. Will ye do the same?”

“I already do,” she said with a tired smile, “or I wouldn’t have come out here with you.”

“Then come inside, lass and let’s get ye warm, aye?”

They went inside and Mordur went about starting a fire. The surfaces were covered in a light film of dust, Claire could tell no one had been here in a quite a while. She sat on a rickety chair at the modest table for two, eyes scanning the one roomed cottage. There was a small hearth which Mordur knelt by, striking his flint, two windows covered in hide on either side of the front door, and a bed that seemed to be entirely made up of furs, in the far corner of the room. A roughly made chest beside it. There were a few scattered candles on sconces on the walls.

“I’ll go hunting in a bit for our supper,” he said straightening up and joining her at the table. “But first. Is the lad alright?”

“Yes,” Claire said immediately, but added reluctantly, “the last time I saw him, that is,” tears threatening to undo her. Mordur nodded, and with a  _go on_  gesture, Claire took a deep breath and told him everything. Meticulously, through tears and nerves, she told the crusty old man every detail. He’d leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees and stared into the fire as she spoke.

“If anything’s happened to him, it will have been my fault and I do not think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself,” she finished, her sobs finally overpowering her.

“Aye it will,” he replied, but not unkindly - more absentmindedly than anything. Then his focus suddenly came back to Claire and he sighed, taking her hands in his. “But the stubborn lad knew the risks when he agreed to go back. If anyone can endure, it is him,” he tried to reassure her. And to an extent, succeeded.

***

After a modest dinner of roasted rabbit and scattered conversation, Claire’s body was ready to collapse into the furs she’d been eyeing all evening and sleep for a good thousand years - Mordur having kindly helped shake out the dust off the furs earlier.

“There’s a wee lean-to at the back of the cottage. I’ll sleep there tonight. There’s a privy too, if ye’ll need it,” he’d informed her.

As she arranged the furs back on the makeshift bed and Mordur fixed to leave for the night, a question came to her suddenly.

“Wait!” she called after him, making pause and turn. “What’s your real name, if you don’t mind me asking?”

He smiled. “Och! ‘Tis Murtagh. Murtagh FitzGibbons Fraser.” An odd wistful look crossed his face then that he shrugged off almost immediately. “I havena said my own name out loud in years,” he added quietly.

“Well, thank you, Murtagh. For everything. I haven’t the words to properly-”

He waved her off with a self-conscious gesture. “‘Tis nothing, mistress. Get some rest, aye,” he said shutting the door behind him. “Tomorrow we begin yer training.”

“Wait, what?” Claire called after him, but he was already gone.

***

Just before dawn, Claire was unceremoniously woken from a deep sleep with firm hand on her shoulder shaking her to consciousness.

“Hey!” he said sharply and took her by the shoulders and sat her up. “On yer feet lass, we’re wasting the morning.”

“The sun is not even up yet, you old git,” she said stubbornly, as he placed a cup of hot broth in her hands with a snort.

“I dinna have all morning,” he said, throwing her a pair of supple leather breeches and a matching worn tunic, then moved towards the chest beside the bed and pulled out a couple of wooden swords and targes, short and long daggers, and a bow and quiver.

Claire cast him a wary glance. “Listen,” she said calmly. “I appreciate you trying to help, but I’m not a fighter. I never have been.”

“Listen,” Murtagh countered, “I willna always be here. The longer I’m gone the more likelihood questions will be raised. Yer safe here, but I will not leave you unguarded completely. For yer own sake and Jamie’s - and  _mine_ ,” he added reluctantly, “We’d all sleep easier knowing you could at least handle a blade.”

Claire knew he was right. She may be a healer at her core, but she found herself in an impossibly dire situation that called for drastic measures. As much as it went against everything she believed in, she nodded.

“We’ll go slow. A few hours a day learnin’ different techniques and weapons. I’ll show ye the basics today, then get ye started on the harder moves later on.”

***

An hour later and Claire could barely lift her right arm. She’d doubled over, bracing herself on her knees, all the while the crusty old man hadn’t even broken a sweat. ‘ _We’ll go slow,’ my pale white arse_ , she thought annoyed. He’d gone easy for about five minutes, before his blows got harder and harder - “So yer body gets used to the impacts,” he’d explained. Lunges, parries, deflections, all taught with ruthless efficiency. Her “stance” was apparently atrocious and he’d spent a solid fifteen minutes pounding her targe to teach her how best defend and keep her guard up while planting her feet solidly.

Sword-fighting, she was informed, was far more than just sticking people with the pointy end. She had to learn to read her opponent’s movements and faints. Learn to use her targe not only for defence but offence as well. Every weapon had its technique, all of which he’d show her. He’d built a practicing dummy out of what wood and straw he could find so she’d have something to practice on while he was away. “Dinna be afraid to hit it at full strength. Learn to absorb the impact, use it to your advantage,” Murtagh explained, then demonstrated what he meant.

“Yer a quick learner,” he said, handing her a skin of water. “And yer stronger than ye think. Ye willna be the strongest, but that doesna mean ye canna take down opponents bigger than ye with a few well placed blows.”

Three frustrating hours later, Murtagh headed back to Kattegat in infuriatingly good spirits, leaving Claire exhausted and bruised, her muscles feeling like melted candles. But nonetheless, she’d promised him to keep practicing the few techniques he’d shown till next she saw him. And as much as Claire fought against the idea of learning how best to take someone’s life, she couldn’t help but feel safer for it, to know she was building in herself a defence she so sorely needed.

***

And so it went for a month, Murtagh would show up every three or four days to make sure she was fairing alright and train with her. She’d filled her days between setting up snares, chopping firewood, training and using a small area by the side of the house to start herself a modest herb garden - which Murtagh had simply ‘ _mmmph!_ ’d at but said nothing. He came with what news he could. Dufgall had camped his horde somewhere on the outskirts of Kattegat. Not quite a siege yet, but a warning. Kalman though knew he still had the upper hand - the numbers and loyalty of the people. A tense stalemate in effect.

But Claire didn’t cared a lick about any of that. All she wanted was word of Jamie. The moment she saw Murtagh, it would always be the first thing she’d asked. His answer was always the same. Always heartbreaking. Always no.

So Claire had thrown herself into her training. Every blow, every technique she learned, every reverberation of every blow was a release of the tension, helplessness, fear and tears she felt building inside her. Only her tiny herb garden helped balance out the rage of not knowing with a calm peace she sometimes felt she didn’t deserve.

She’d began to get stronger and faster. Her muscles working in ways they’d never done so before, began to tighten and lean up. Much to Murtagh’s surprise, she’d also started putting together her own combos, shocking him with pivots and strikes, level changes and counters he had never expected her to put together.

“I’ve had a lot of time on my own to get creative,” was all she said, with a smug smile as the tip of her wooden sword jabbed his side.

Murtagh had told her - much as Jamie had - that no ships were making the crossing till nearer to the spring, so only thing she could do was lay low and wait, while Murtagh tried to find out anything about her uncle in Kalman’s inner circle.  _If_ he even was there.

Her nights alone were some of the loneliest Claire had ever felt. During the day she’d have things to distract herself with, but at night, left alone with her thoughts, they’d always without fail, eventually end up on Jamie. She’d long since stopped trying to shut them out. They’d become both a comfort and a curse. Bringing with them both serenity and pain. She’d let her mind wander over the memory of his face and touch, hear his soothing laugh and that smile that had more than once woken her from deep sleep panting and wanting. She couldn’t escape him - nor did she want to.

***

As the biting cold of winter steadily approached, Claire found herself once more, as Murtagh once again left her drenched in sweat after a vigorous session of defensive maneuvers, with strict instructions she train on the one thing she was yet completely inept at - shooting a bloody arrow. As of that morning, Claire was yet to hit her target. Or any target for that matter. Arrows either fell limply at her feet, or sailed so wildly off course, Murtagh had more than once been forced to climb the cottage’s roof to retrieve them.

So, there she stood, in her fur cloak, quiver near empty at midday and the dummy in front of her still irritatingly arrowless.

“Bugger,” she murmured to herself as yet another one went sailing well over the dummy’s head. But as she nocked another arrow to her bow, she heard the crack of a twig in the treeline to her right. Her eyes snapped up, her senses sharpening as they’d been wont to do of late the longer time she spent alone. At first she thought perhaps Murtagh had forgotten something, but when he didn’t emerge, every hair on Claire’s body stood on end, a shiver running up her spine. She rotated on the spot, slowly scanning the area around her. She saw nothing but could feel eyes on her. After making a full turn, she slowly crouched, exchanging her bow with a dagger, when she felt rather than heard someone step out of the treeline behind her.

She whirled round, readying to strike, just as her visitor said a few metres away from her, “I see you’re finally paying more attention to your surroundings.”

***


	9. Chapter 9

## Part 9.

 

 “I see you’re finally paying more attention to your surroundings,” he said, grinning from ear to ear. “But a piss poor shot! Glad you didn’t take me up on my offer to shoot me.”

Claire slowly straightened up, not quite believing her eyes. Yet there he stood, smiling back at her. Jamie. With his hair tousled, clothes grimy and sword slung over his shoulder - which, without taking his eyes off of hers, he loosened the strap holding it in place and let the sword clatter to the ground. He hadn’t shaved, his scruff a deep auburn. Claire’s own fingers - entire body for that matter - felt completely numb, she hadn’t even felt the dagger she held slip right through them and fall to the ground. Before she knew it, she was moving, without thought or hesitation, she moved to him, unable and unwilling to even blink lest he disappear.

He stood stock still, unsure whether she was coming to hit him or embrace him from the look of steeled determination on her face. But as her pace quickened, he’d only had a moment to brace himself as she flung herself bodily into him making him let out a breathless “Ooof!” as she did so, her arms going round his neck and her legs soon following, wrapping themselves around his hips, as she buried her face into the crook of his neck.

“Och! I see your grip’s improved too,” he said with a laugh, his own arms tightly enfolding her into his body.

They stayed like that for longer than Claire thought imaginable, clasped tightly together. Her words completely robbed from her by his sudden appearance. Eventually, she managed to whisper, “I thought I’d never see you again,” as she reluctantly loosened her hold and dismounted.

“You won’t be rid of me that easily, I’m afraid,” he joked, tipping her chin up so he could look into those mesmerizing whisky eyes of hers he’d achingly missed for so long.

She huffed a laugh that sounded more like a sob and burrowing her face into the hollow at the centre of his chest, wrapped her arms tightly around his waist as if trying to steal his warmth. But as she did so, he let out a pained hiss and she immediately let go.

“What is it?” she asked, taking hold of his shoulders.

“Nothing,” he brushed off, but she could see he was lying. “Nothing that won’t heal.”

He stiffened as she wordlessly circled around and heard her breath catch in her throat.

“Jamie…” she said, voice cracking. He shut his eyes when he felt her lift his shirt, he could feel her fingers trembling as she lightly brushed against his still tender skin.

He let out a sigh. “Ten lashes for every day the men didn’t return,” he said.

Her arms slowly came round his waist again, her forehead resting gently between his shoulders blades and he felt her body reverberate with the silent sobs she couldn’t quite contain. He placed his hands over hers and squeezed.

“It’s alright, I’m fine” he reassured her. “It ended up working out in my favor.”

“What?!” she said incredulously against his back.

“‘Tis a long story.”

“Well, you better come inside and tell me while I have a proper look at your back,” Claire said, and without waiting for a response, took his hand and led him into the cottage.

***

Jamie sat shirtless on the edge of the fur bed, forearms braced on his knees, as Claire knelt behind him with medicine her box open while she inspected his back, a small scoop of a sweet scented salve in the palm of her hand.

 _Ten lashes_ , he’d said and the thought painfully twisted her gut,  _for every day the men didn’t return._

“Tell me,” she said, applying the salve to the now half-raw welts.

“Aye, well, the day after I went back, my uncle called everyone to the centre of the camp. Declared that leaving men behind was not going to be tolerated. In reality he just didna believe me and found an excuse to wield his whip - and everyone knew it,” he began quietly, shrugging his shoulders. “So, I let him, keeping to the story I’d given and not fighting against it. For five days-” he heard Claire stifle a cry of shock, her hand stilling its ministrations. He reached back a patted her knee. “For five days,” he went on, “every morning was filled with the whistling sound of his whip. But he’d sent men out to hunt in my stead. Do you remember the storm that hit days after we parted?” he twisted to look back her, seeing her nod. “Three men didn’t return. Ivar - their leader - came back with his arm broken, saying they’d been caught in a mudslide up on a higher ridge.” he snorted at the memory.

Claire still couldn’t see the humor though. “So how did it work in your favor?”

He stretched his back and rotated his shoulders. “My uncle was forced to admit he’d been wrong about me and about my punishment - whether he said it out loud or not,” he said and she could hear the smile in his voice. “The men in the camp didna like the idea of the lashing. To have Ivar return and  _confirm_ that my story was more than likely true… Well, a slight shift began happening in camp. Some men started coming to me with their problems, small at first, instead of going to my uncle. I found myself having hidden allies I didna have before.”

Claire closed her eyes. She could see it all to well. Jamie tied to a post, shirtless, stoically taking every lash, biding his time. The men coming to respect his quiet courage. She’d seen that strength when she’d tended him all those weeks before.

“After every lashing,” he continued, pulling her out of her bloody reverie. “I poured what alcohol I had on the wounds to keep the fever away - like ye showed me. Burned like hellfire, but it worked.”

She gave his shoulder a squeeze, taken aback that he’d remembered to do such a thing.

“The salve should help keep the skin from tightening uncomfortably. You did well to use the alcohol and your a strong lad,” she said and hoped he wouldn’t see the flush she felt in her cheeks, “your body’s doing a great job of healing itself.”

After she’d finished applying the salve and helped Jamie put his shirt back on, Claire warmed up some rabbit stew from the night before and they had themselves a modest dinner. For the first time getting to talk without having to whisper or look over their shoulders. She’d never seen Jamie so relaxed, his accent thickening much like Murtagh’s with every passing sentence. He seemed lighter somehow. Freer.

Jamie had convinced his uncle - who was in no position to refuse him after “falsely” accusing him - to let him be part of the group that fanned out of their camp to scout Kattegat’s defenses. He knew if she’d made it to Murtagh, he’d have brought her here.

“How long do we have?” she asked as they sat by the crackling fire.

“Two, maybe three days. Four if we’re blessed with a storm,” he replied, barely containing his smile.

She laughed seeing that playfulness. How long had it been since he’d let himself be so? They had time, for the first time since they met, they finally had time. And Claire was determined to learn all she could about her reluctant berserker.  _God, let it rain for a week_ , she prayed.

***

By unspoken agreement, they shared the fur bed that night - loathe to be apart any longer. And while it started off chaste, their bodies lying innocently side by side, the night’s shifting pulled them closer and closer together, till finally, in the cold, dead of night and not quite fully awake, Claire’s nose brushed against Jamie’s shoulder and felt his arms come around her, her own arm snaking around his waist, her head fitting perfectly in the crook of his shoulder. She felt him turn his head, lips lightly brushed against her forehead. Then, slowly, she tilted her head up and brushed her lips to his in turn. A mere gentle grazing of lips, a shared breath and she knew she’d never experienced anything so tender, so loaded, with nothing in it feeling wrong. She nuzzled his neck as he burrowed his nose into her hair. All the while, she was sure, neither had been pulled completely out of sleep. Or even opened their eyes.

***

Claire woke up feeling lighter than she’d felt in a long time and wondered if she’d simply dreamed what happened the night before, to find Jamie - head propped up on his elbow - smiling down at her. She smiled back. Much to her relief, the look on his face told her it may not have been a dream after all. Her fingers itched to reach out and run through his scruff, but she resisted, letting her eyes instead raked over his face, the opening at the neck of his shirt, the curve of his broad, auburn dusted chest, taking in those unguarded blue eyes of his, stripping her bare as they went on their own journey of her.

“Ye should get dressed,” he said suddenly, his eyes still burning.

Taken aback, she huffed out a laugh. “That is not what I expected you to say.”

He smiled back. “As much as I would love not to have to leave this bed,” his eyes unconsciously wandering again, “I’d very much like to see what Murtagh’s been teaching ye.” With that, he leapt out of bed and began cooking up them up a modest breakfast of eggs and squirrel.

An hour later, Claire stood opposite Jamie, dressed in her training tunic and breeks - which he took a moment to thoroughly appreciate, having not done so the day before, making Claire blush under his gaze - wooden sword in hand, when he abruptly went from a relaxed stance to lunging at her with his own sword. She hadn’t had time to think before she sidestepped him and parried his strike.

“Good,” he said, sounding pleasantly surprised.

And so it went, back and forth, a parry for every strike, a defensive counter for every attack. He was faster -  _much_ faster - than she was. She could tell he wasn’t giving her his full strength either, even as every blow she blocked reverberated through her entire body. The longer they went, the more fun she could see him having. His smile unencumbered and he stepped up his attacks.

He began getting hits in. Light taps through her defenses and with every tap, he’d gleefully add “dead,” to it. Which began grating on her patience. He tapped her chest after feinting - “dead”. He tapped her ribcage - “dead”. He pivoted around her and tapped her between her shoulder blades - “dead”. The more he did it the more her strikes became erratic. The final straw came when he lunged forward to one side and quicker than she could even register the movement, he suddenly switched sword hands and stepped across her, leaving her staggering awkwardly the opposite way where he’d been standing a moment ago, and neatly tapped her behind, whispering in her ear, “dead”.

“You cheating bastard!” she shouted. “You can’t just switch-”

“I can,” he answered primly, throwing his sword from hand to hand. “All is fair on the battlefield, Claire.”

She hit him hard with her sword on his upper arm.

“Ow!” he puffed out a laugh.

“Again,” she said, this time determined to wipe that smirk off his face. _If Murtagh didn’t see it coming_ … she thought.

They had both been breathing heavily from the exertion, but he shrugged good naturedly, twirled the sword’s tip in his palm before flipping it over to grip the hilt and take up his stance. But before he could go on the offensive, Claire advanced. She went as if to sweep his right leg - making him bring his sword down to block the strike - but deftly feinted, catching him off guard and whirled to his left, sneaking beneath his outstretched arm as he tried to grab her and once she’d gained his back, used his shoulder to steady herself and she tapped the back of his neck with the tip of her sword.

On tip toes she rested her chin on his shoulder and said with utter satisfaction, “dead.” For a moment the only sound in the clearing was their ragged breathing.

She heard his sword thud to the ground. “Where did learn learn that?” he asked stunned, but no longer smirking.

“You’re fast, you cocky bugger,” she said grinning, pulling his shoulder down slightly, “but not that fast enough, it seems.”

She saw the corner of his mouth tug upward in an alarmingly devilish grin. Before she had time to register what he was doing, she felt his hand grab hers on his shoulder and whirl her about as he turned, grabbing her sword from her with his other hand, threw it to the side and brought her back flush against his chest, trapping her now crossed forearms to her chest.

“I would not be so sure about that,” he breathed into her ear.

She half twisted back to look at him, his eyes ablaze with unsuppressed desire. For the first time neither of them hid from what had been simmering below the surface. And as Claire looked into the face of her friend, her defender, her berserker, nothing had ever felt more right in her entire life. His grip on her hands loosened and she slipped her right one free and cupped his face, bringing his lips to hers - he didn’t resist as she pulled him to her - eagerly parting them for her questing tongue. Neither could have said how long they’d stood so, Claire craning back to capture every bit of his mouth she could. His own arms tightening around her. He let out a groan as her teeth pulled at his bottom lip, the sensation threatening to buckle his knees where he stood. He roughly spun her around - her turn to moan in protest at the sudden separation - and ran his hands slowly down the length of her back and bottom, feeling every dip and curve, then hooked his hands under her thighs, lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist.

She cupped his face and kissed him deeply once more as he walked them back into the cottage, kicking the door shut with the heel of his foot. As Jamie sat them on the bed, he couldn’t help but grin at her fervor to rip off his shirt. His own fingers shaking in anticipation as he unbuttoned her tunic. When he’d done so, he paused, unable to meet her eye. She flung his shirt to the floor, watching his hesitation.

“What is it?’ she asked, her voice hoarse.

Not yet ready to take her tunic completely off, he took in the sliver of exposed, exquisite ivory skin. He ran a finger down between her breasts, to her navel, watching the skin ripple with gooseflesh. “I’ve never done this before,” he whispered huskily.

She smiled and taking hold of the open edges of her tunic and slowly easing it off her shoulders, said, “neither have I.” She let the tunic fall to the floor, not taking her eyes of Jamie as his breath audibly caught in his throat at the sight of her bared before him. She tipped his chin up so he could meet her eye. “But we’ll figure it out together.”

His hands came up her sides, his thumbs caressing every rib as he tentatively made his way higher. She could see his pulse pump erratically at his throat. “Have you never seen a naked woman before?” Claire asked, taking his hand and placed it over her breast.

He squeezed gently, his thumb flicking her nipple. Then, quick as an adder, he flipped them over so she lay on her back, looking up at him. “Aye, I have,” he grinned down at her, his hand gaining confidence with each stroke of her nipple before traveling lower, delighting in how breathless she’d become. “But not one so close.”  _And not one that’s mine,_ his blazing eyes bore into hers. He hooked his fingers on the hem of her breeks and tugged, cocking an eyebrow at her.

She laughed under her breath and did the same, only her hands went round to the back of his breeks and took hold of his behind. They shimmied out of their breeks and lay on their sides facing each other.

Drinking in the sight of his body, Claire’s fingertips traced every inch of him she could. Every scar, every hollow, every callous she could reach. His own hands going on their own journey, cupping, stroking, traveling down the length of her body and back up her thigh.

His hand eventually made to her inner thigh and without breaking eye contact, he gently nudged her legs, a silent request. She slowly drew her legs apart. His trembling fingers made their to her centre and she barely kept from crying out as he gently explored the smooth plains and exquisitely sensitive peak of her, slowly exploring deeper. Her stomach tightening with need and tension. She let out a low moan as her own hand found his length. He was more than ready. As ready as she was.

His lips found hers then, kissing her long and languidly. He closed his eyes and put his forehead to hers, rolling her onto her back, and settled between her legs.

“Nothing is in our way tonight,” he said, seeing a tremor of alarm flash across her face. “We will go as slow or as fast as you need. Or we do not have to  _go_ at all.”

She cupped his face, her eyes piercing through him. “I want you,” she said with all the conviction she had. “Our hearts have never been the same since we met on that dark day. And for the longest time I felt like I roamed alone in an endless darkness. But all that time, I could always feel your heart beating, so I always tried to find that sound - find  _you_. And I did.”

“I was always in that darkness with ye, my Sassenach,” he whispered. “I was so lost, for such a long time. But then I reached out a hand into that darkness, not knowing for certain if ever you’d reach back. But you did, and our hands met. And neither of us will ever need to be alone again.”

That’s how they’d both learned what love truly was. It wasn’t finding a way out of the darkness, but finding each other in it.

He entered her slowly, tentatively, letting her adjust and set their pace. But it became quite clear - once accustomed and sheathed to the hilt, and Jamie had quickly learned how to distribute his weight onto his elbows and not squarely on Claire’s chest - very soon their sweat slicked bodies instinctively called to each other; a question and answer. An endless rhythm that molded them as one. They bent and bowed as one. Their cries called to one another, echoing through their very marrow. The reverberation of their powerful release broke them as one - over and over, a thirst that could not,  _would_ not be quenched - and as they curled around each other, the furs ensconcing them in warmth and safety, the breathed and slept as one. There was no edge or end to their bodies. Only them. Something inexplicable happened that night. A tuning with one another, alert and present yet lost and conquered at once, ever yearning and satiated.

Even in sleep, alone in their own unconscious worlds, they were one.

***


	10. Chapter 10

## Part 10.

 

 

 Claire slowly came awake the next morning to the feel of Jamie’s teeth grazing against the sensitive skin just below her left ear and the heady scent of him enveloping her senses. She hummed contentedly.

“Finally,” Jamie hoarsely murmured. “I thought you’d never wake.”

She could hear the smile in his voice as his hands roamed her body.

“And a good morrow, to you too,” she replied, burying her hands into his tousled curls.

Their naked lengths were still tangled together beneath the furs, languidly grazing against every inch of bare skin available. Claire ran her hands from his neck to his chest, flicking his nipple lightly, delighting in the gooseflesh she left in her wake. His lips nipped at the dark marks his mouth had left on her fair skin - marks she knew matched those she’d left on him - in their frenzy the night before. He rolled on top of her with a growl as she ran her nails hard down his arms, leaving streaks of red. She’d been careful with his back though, her fingers and lips had traced the tender skin for what felt like hours in the dark, never putting too much pressure even though Jamie said they didn’t hurt anymore.

He pulled away just enough to look her in the eye, his hand coming up to stroke her cheek. “How… How do ye feel?” he asked timidly, voice raw still.

She knew what he asked. It went deeper than the words themselves. It had been their first time - with anyone. And even though they’d been joined more than once the night before - Claire smiled, remembering their primal coming together, the memory still throbbing between her legs - he still worried about causing her that kind of pain. Her own hand cupped his cheek, her fingers traced his swollen lip, the lip she’d bitten.

“Safe,” she simply replied. “You?”

She was rewarded at once by a singularly sweet smile that lit his face up. “Safe,” he said.

***

Claire would have been content to stay in bed all day, breathing in Jamie, roaming his body freely, but Jamie had other plans, much to her chagrin. After a hot breakfast in bed, Jamie insisted he simply could not relax knowing how abysmal Claire was with a bow. He would not just “lie about” while they could be training.

So there she stood, Jamie towering behind her, bow in hand and her quiver leaning against her leg.

“Keep your left arm straight. Aye, that’s right,” he said, making sure her forearm was firm enough. “Elbow up,” he added, tapping her right elbow to keep it from dipping. She loosed the arrow, which sailed a few metres from the dummy’s head.

Arrow after arrow after arrow, Claire got closer to the target.

“Just breathe,” he whispered, next to her ear, “and let go.” she did so and the arrow caught finally the edge of the dummy’s left hand. “Good!” he beamed. He stepped closer to her as she nocked another arrow. She could feel the heat from his body seep through her tunic, his thighs grazing the back of hers. She fought against the urge to lean back into him. “Keep you core strong,” he murmured, his right hand snaked around her waist and gently pressed against her stomach. “Deep breath,” he said, nose grazing the back of her ear.

“You’re very distracting,” she murmured back, eyes fluttering.

“Concentrate.”

“How can I with all that goings on back there?”

“Deep breath,” he repeated and she could hear the smile in his voice. She did as he asked, his hand still firm on her stomach. “And loose the arrow as you slowly breathe out…”

She let her arrow fly, which landed with a satisfying  _thunk!_  in the dummy’s body.

“Again,” he said, teeth gently sinking into the sensitive flesh where her neck met her shoulder. His right hand traveling further down, burying itself down the front of Claire’s breeches.

“Jamie,” she moaned, finally unable to stop herself from leaning back into him.

“Again, my Sassenach. One more time.” His fingers stroked, teased, kneaded her languidly. His other other came around and unbuttoned her tunic, slipping in to cup her breast. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back onto his shoulder with a sigh. But stretched an arm down and blindly grabbed an arrow. With every last ounce of self control she had, she nocked it, barely remembering Jamie’s instructions - her body thankfully remembering enough - and loosed it. With another satisfying  _thunk!_ , the arrow buried itself into the dummy’s head.

Claire threw the bow to one side, kicking the quiver away as she turned in his arms and captured his lips hungrily with her own. She pressed against him, feeling just how mightily roused he was through his own breeks.

“Inside. Now.” she ordered. He didn’t argue.

***

Jamie had cracked open the leather hides covering the windows, letting in rays of afternoon sun that uncharacteristically shone through. His fingers delicately traced where the shafts of rays tangled up around her face and naked body.

“I could sit for hours, Sassenach,” he rasped out quietly, “watching you bathed in light so and in flickers of firelight, and still be awed each moment. Though I am a bit jealous,” he added cheekily, taking her nipple in his mouth. “The daylight seems to want ye just as much as I want ye.”

She laughed under her breath.

“I’d die happy if this was all I ever remembered,” Claire whispered back, fingers lost in his curls. “My fingers journeying over every hill and valley of your naked body. Every smooth expanse and calloused edge. I could get lost in you for hours. Days.”

This time they didn’t leave their bed. Save to warm up something to eat or use the privy, they spent all their time entwined around each other. Claire couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed so freely and by the bewildered look that always flashed for a second across Jamie’s face every time he did, neither did he.

“How did you learn to sword fight like that? With both your hands?” Claire asked as she captured his hand between her own from where he’d wedged it between her legs.

He bent his head looking suddenly sheepish. “I’ve always been naturally left-handed,” he said, drawing delicate circles with his thumb into her palm. “But, it was always… frowned upon whenever I used it freely. So, from when I was a wee lad, I was forced to learn to use my right hand. To make it my dominant hand. From writing and fighting and such. It was only when I came here. Dufgall, he is left-handed as well and encouraged me to train with the left as much as the right, to be able to change guard in the blink of an eye. Said it was invaluable in battle to throwing opponents off guard to do so. Because of Dufgall, I mastered both. Only gift he ever genuinely gave me,” he finished quietly, not meeting her eye.

“You’re a beautiful fighter,” Claire whispered after a moment. She ran the back of her fingers down his temple, tracing his brow and down to his lips. “There is a… grace to the brutality. I never realized just how much so, until you made love to me.”

His shocked eyes snapped to hers, making her huff a laugh.

“I feel how powerfully controlled you are. How gentle in your desire you can be. How  _absolutely_ ravaging in your release. You rouse me to such a blinding response, I wonder if it will ever stop.”

“If what will ever stop?” he asked, kissing her brow.

“The wanting you,” she replied, tracing his lips.

He rolled onto his back, bringing Claire to straddle him. He watched with hooded, craving eyes as she rocked above him, bringing him to settle to the hilt within her.

“I hope to whatever Gods may be listening,” he groaned, “that it never does.”

***

They were out gathering firewood the next day, the chill in the cottage finally forcing them out of their bed. As they made their way back inside, Jamie stopped dead in his tracks so abruptly, Claire nearly walked four steps ahead before she realized he wasn’t beside her.

“What is it?” she asked turning back and seeing him go taut. The only sound around them that of a solitary chirping bird. Jamie’s face broke into a huge grin.

***

He’d watched them from deep within the shadow of the trees, his heart lightening for the first time in years. The lad was laughing like he’d never seen him do before. They teased each other, their laughter filling the world in a way Murtagh thought was long lost. He was loathe to interrupt their hard won contentment, but knew such bliss would be their battle to keep. They were likely to never stop fighting for it. He breathed a deep, sad sigh and let out a chirping whistle.

***

“I ken yer there, ye old bugger!” Jamie called with a laugh, turning on the spot.

“Aye, good to see ye havena lost all yer faculties yet, lad!” Murtagh said, stepping out from the treeline with a grin so broad Claire thought his face would surely crack open. He hadn’t seen Jamie, Claire realized with a jolt, for near half a year since he’d left with his uncle’s horde. Jamie dropped the stack of firewood he’d been holding and rushed to give his godfather a bearhug, squeezing the air right out of the grumpy old man’s lungs.

“How long have ye been here?” Murtagh asked when Jamie set him back down.

“Going on four days now. Why?” he replied, seeing Murtagh’s smile fade.

“Kalman’s called for a meeting with his brother. A Gathering is to be held to discuss terms,” Murtagh said gravely. “I havena been able to get close to Kalman’s hold to find anything out about the lass’s uncle,” he continued, nodding towards Claire, “but if the brothers are to meet…”

“Then I can get into the hold as part of my uncle’s party,” Jamie finished his godfather’s thought, who nodded in agreement.

“No,” Claire said immediately, fear shooting through her. “You will not put yourself into the jaws of the beast for me, not again, Jamie. We will find another way.”

“It’s alright, Sassenach,” he replied soothing, stepping towards her and putting his arms round her waist. “Once a Gathering is called, a truce sits upon the meeting. No blood may be shed until it is over. It is our best opportunity to move freely - but  _carefully_ \- through the hold. To search for him. When is the Gathering to take place?” he asked turning back to Murtagh.

“A fortnight hence. They await the other lesser Earls to arrive.”

Claire could see the wheels turning in Jamie’s mind. Two weeks. Two weeks for him to maneuver himself into Dufgall’s trusted inner party. A group he’d been skirting around the periphery of for months. She wrapped her arms around his neck bringing his temple to her own. She couldn’t bring herself to think of what the future held for them a fortnight from now, not yet. Not when she’d known utter, unencumbered happiness with him for such a brief time. She wouldn’t let that darkness mar what they’d had.  _Not yet_. So she’d held him. And wouldn’t let go till she absolutely had to. Seeing the look in Jamie’s eyes, she knew neither would he.

***


	11. Chapter 11

## Part 11.

 

 Jamie left later that day with kiss and a promise to be back soon as he could manage and instructions for Murtagh to find alternative routes back to Scotland other than those from Kattegat.

“There is something I mean to ask ye, Sassenach. When I get back,” Jamie had whispered to her as Murtagh went about gathering some supplies for him.

“Ask me now,” she’d whispered back, fingers locked behind his neck.

“No. I want to have something to look forward to. For both of us to look forward to. So I shall leave this wee bit unsaid, until next I see ye,” he’d replied, kissing her brow.

Claire had felt her heart crack as she watched him and Murtagh leave the little cottage. She could have sworn Jamie had heard the sound - like the sharp snap of a twig - because he’d looked over his shoulder then and gave her a smile the seared itself into her memory.

She moped about the cottage, feeling utterly useless. Jamie and Murtagh were off facing unknown dangers and here she sat, unable to help. Every inch of her wanted to run out and follow them, but she’d promised to stay. To wait. And wait she did.

***

Murtagh returned a few days later to tell her he’d be traveling down the coast to some other hamlets, to see what he could manage to arrange - if anything. She’d begged him to let her go along, but he’d been adamant. She’d wait and he’d travel alone, it would be quicker, but he would be back in time for the gathering and hopefully Jamie’s return as well.

And soon, he was gone once more. And she waited.

***

Claire filled her idle time with making as many different salves, draughts and tinctures she could with her limited resources she had at hand and keeping up with her training best she could on her own. Yet no amount of activity she drowned herself in shut out the pain that struck her deeply at the thought of the men in her life out there.

But when the worrying started to hurt, she’d picture Jamie. She always did. In that secret way that was uniquely theirs. She’d shut her eyes and feel the warmth of the breath on her neck, his burr in her ear, his calloused fingers journeying over her body, the softness of his bite on the pulse of her neck…

And if it meant waiting forever for him to return to her, she’d bloody wait.

***

The days began to blur together and her thoughts often drifted to her uncle. What had his life been like since last she’d seen him? Had he been treated well? Had he just found his new journey an exciting adventure as he’d always done? Had he even spared a thought for the niece he’d left behind… No, she knew Lamb, better than anyone and knew he would be as worried about her as she was for him.

She didn’t even let herself entertain the other possibility. She’d have felt it if he no longer was… No, she didn’t let herself entertain that thought.

She’d wait.

***

Jamie walked into his uncle’s camp with a single minded focus. Walking with purpose, he went straight to Dufgall’s tent and gave his “report” on Kattegat’s defenses. He’d taken a quick detour before returning to camp, and got a rough idea about where Kalman had sured up his defenses, but nothing that he was sure Dufgall didn’t already know.

His uncle in turn informed him about the contingent he planned to take with him - Jamie was not among them. Yet.

That would be Jamie’s mission. To get on that contingent. To help find and restore Claire’s uncle to her, he would do anything.

He knew some of the men his uncle had chosen, some that had come to him after his whipping. He went to those men next. He had to be careful in approaching them. While he’d felt a slight shift in loyalty, it was still precarious territory thinking they’d go against Dufgall in any major way. So he’d done as Claire had once asked him to - to put his mind to work before his sword.

Quiet conversations were had around cooking fires, gauging the strength of tethers inadvertently created, testing how far some were willing to bend in his favor. He didn’t manipulate - he didn’t need to - for the faint rumbles of discord had always run through his uncle’s men. Some had been separated from family and home. Few had regretted taking Dufgall’s side over Kalman’s the moment the needless bloody carnage began.

 _Yes_ , Jamie thought as a smile crept into the corner of his mouth and he quietly watched the men around the fires,  _there are indeed cracks I can work with_. He just had to find where to start applying gentle pressure.

***

Four days before the Gathering, Jamie returned to the cottage. He saw Claire’s shoulders sag in relief as she rose from her wee garden and slowly come to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He burrowed his nose in her hair, taking a deep breath of that heady herb scent of hers.

“No lashes this time?” she asked, hand gently rubbing his back.

“Nay, I’m whole. Especially now that I’m wi’ ye,” he replied, giving her a squeeze. “Is Murtagh back yet?”

“No. Not since he journeyed down the coast.”

Jamie nodded and looped his arm around her waist, guiding them back to the cottage. He had a lot to her, but needed food in his grumbling belly first.

“The men are frustrated,” he said around a mouthful of rabbit stew. “Well, a few are. Some had to leave their families behind when Dufgall left Kattegat and the prospect of spending winter in a crude tent while sieging a village they have loved ones in… They were more than willing to give up their spots in Dufgall’s war party for me, if I would be their voice. But I first had to convince Dufgall.”

“And did you?”

“Aye, I think I did. Played to his ego, told him it would be a great show of solidarity and strength if I were to be at his shoulder.”

“Jamie…” Claire said tentatively, “if you do get in and find uncle Lamb, what then? These men trust you to relay their concerns-”

“One bridge at a time, Sassenach,” he said and pulled her into his lap. “I first need to get in. Speak with Kalman if I can  _and_  find yer uncle. Not to mention we still need word from Murtagh before we can decide anything.”

She nodded slowly and let out a breath. “One step at a time.”

***

They didn’t have long to wait for Murtagh’s return. He arrived early the next morning in a rare, chipper mood, banging the door open, jolting them awake from beneath the furs.

“Up wi’ the both of ye!” he hollered, thumping a pair of dead rabbits onto the table. “I have news and willna wait about for ye two to finally grace me with yer attention!”

Jamie grumbled under his breath as he reached for his discarded shirt and handing Claire her tunic and breeks, which had somehow found their way to separate corners of the cottage.

“So, what’s yer news?” Jamie huffed when they’d all settled at the tiny table.

“I found someone who’s planning on braving the crossing before winter,” Murtagh said bluntly, taking a swig of ale. “I was making my way down to Ribe when I came across a caravan headed there too. They had gotten word a crossing was imminent. I did not have time to make it all the way there to confirm and back in time, but we have an option. It is slim and not one that will wait forever, aye.”

Claire exchanged looks with Jamie. If a crossing before spring was a possibility, this changed everything.

“How long would the journey be? To Ribe?”

“This time of year? A week if we hurry.”

Jamie stood and paced the room. Claire could see the thought bloom on his face and already had her answer ready.

“Claire,” he began eagerly, “You and Murtagh start heading there-”

“No,” she replied flatly, when he confirmed her suspicion. “We are not leaving here! We do this together, Jamie, I will not be parted from you again.”

“Claire-”

“The lass is right, Jamie. We stick together this time.”

Jamie stood towering above them, hands braced on his hips. They blandly looked back at him, neither backing down an inch.

“You two are insufferable,” he huffed and sat back down beside Claire. She laughed and took his hand.

“You are stuck with us, I’m afraid,” she said, bringing his hand to her lips.

“Aye, ye are. So what’s the plan, lad?”

Jamie gave them a half smile and she could see the tension leave him. As much as he wished them safe, she could see he was glad he wasn’t alone anymore. He sat back and let out a sigh.

“That can wait,” he said, his eyes fixed on Claire. “There is something else I want to do first. Something I have wanted to do from first I ever saw you, Sassenach. There was something I wished to ask you.” Murtagh seemed unable to contain his scruffy grin as Jamie sat forward and took both her hands in his. “You have always had the protection of my body, of my clan and family,” he glanced at Murtagh, then back at her, “you have had the keeping of my heart from first we met. I have but the one thing left to give you, Claire. My name.” He smiled as he saw her chin wobble and silver line her eyes. He pulled her stool closer to his, till she was nestled between his legs, his nose nearly touching hers. “Will you do me the honor and be my wife Claire?”

Her hands cupped his face hard, bringing his brow to hers, a tear slipping down her cheek. Not trusting her voice, she nodded, but added a shaky, “Yes,” voice thick with happiness. She broke down, unable and unwilling to hold back and Jamie pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. “Yes,” she repeated.

 _Everything_ could  _wait_ , she thought her arms around Jamie like a vice.  _Just a little while longer, everything could wait._

***


	12. Chapter 12

## Part 12.

 The cottage was softly bathed in gently candlelight. The fire crackled quietly. The world itself seemingly hushed, leaning in to listen to every word spoken inside.

Claire and Jamie stood facing each other, wrist to bloodied wrist, a soft cloth wrapped delicately around their tightly joined hands. Murtagh wiped the small dagger he’d used to slice open neat lines on the inside of the wrists.

An ancient rite. And a handfasting. A joining together Claire knew would be more powerful than anything she’d ever felt in her life. She felt it burrow beneath her skin, coalesce into her blood. They said the words together, Murtagh bearing witness to the coming together of two souls.

_“You are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone._

_I give you my body, that we two might be one._

_I give you my spirit, till our life shall be done.”_

Quiet vows and whispered promises that changed the very marrow in their bones.

There was no fanfare, no lavish feast, no day long celebration. None of it needed or wanted. There was just them exchanging their hearts into the safekeeping of the other's.

Once finished, Murtagh gave a quick, gruff but surprisingly heartfelt toast. “I’m not a man of very many words,” he began shakily, meeting neither in the eye, “but I ken what true love looks like. I have only ever seen it once before. With your parents, Jamie. And I consider it an honor to be able to witness their lad find it for himself. Ye both deserve to be happy and I vow to ye now Claire, just as I swore it to Jamie’s mother I’d watch over the lad before I left,” he put his ale down and took her hands in his, squeezing gently, “I vow to protect you the rest of my life.” But, just as suddenly as his spurt of sentimentality had come, he cleared his throat, shuffled his feet and it was gone as he not so subtly made himself scarce.

The sudden empty space created by Murtagh’s departure filled with a charged silence. It seemed ridiculous after sharing a bed, a body to be struck with shyness around one another.

Claire huffed a laugh and stepped closer to him. Taking the alehorn he’d been holding, she took a sip before putting it down on the table. Then slowly, took hold of his coat’s lapels and pulled him down for a kiss. He smiled against her lips.

“Will it scar, do you think?” Claire asked, gazing down at her now bound wrist.

“Murtagh didna cut too deep,” Jamie said peering down at his own wrist. “I think it will fade after a time.”

She frowned, considering. “I was hoping it would scar permanently,” she mused, peering beneath the cloth.

“Were you now?” Jamie smiled, taking her by the waist and bringing her body flush with his.

“Yes. Something that would endure. Something that told the world you belong to only me. And I you.”

He kissed her brow, his lips lingering. “We will  _always_ be that, Sassenach.”

“I know,” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist. She looked him dead in the eye then, her stare unwavering. “Jamie, I want you to mark me.”

“What?” he asked, startled by the shift in her.

She pulled out of his arms, and went to the chest by their bed and pulled out a small dagger. “Cut me,” she said quietly. “Deep enough to leave a scar. I want take your touch with me, to have something of you that will stay with me always.” She saw hesitance flash across his face. “I don't care if it hurts,” she continued, tipping her head to her wrist, “at least when I see it, touch it, wherever I am, I can feel  _your_ touch on me.”

He didn't need to ask if she was sure, he could see it all too clearly on her face. He took her delicate hand in his, his thumb stroking her palm. After a moment, he squeezed her hand and nodded. He brought her palm to his lips and kissed it gently then, examining it carefully, he took the base of her thumb in a hard, sucking bite. Letting go, he swiftly cut into the now numbed flesh. She felt no more than a slight burning sensation as the blood immediately welled up. Jamie brought her palm to his mouth once more and held it there till the flow of blood slowed and stopped. As he wrapped her hand in a fresh piece of cloth, Claire glimpsed the shape he'd deftly etched into her. The rune for ‘J’.

It took her moment to realize he'd silently held out his hand for her to do the same. Claire read the intensity in his gaze and took his hand and dagger, her eyes never leaving his. A log in the fireplace cracked and sent up crackling sparks, like a burst of starlight as Claire swiftly but deeply etched the rune for ‘C’ into the base of his thumb. He didn’t wait for her to bind his thumb before he stripped the cloth off hers and brought their palms flush together.

“Whatever troubles happen around us, Claire” he promised, “this, what it is between us, never changes.”

Claire cupped the back of his neck with her free hand and bought his mouth to hers, walking back towards the bed as she did. But before the heat between them threatened to undo her completely, she sat him down on the edge of the bed and went for her medicine box. She cleaned and binded their wedding markings. Markings that sealed their belonging to each other.  _Till our life shall be done_ , they’d promised.

“Longer than that,” Jamie said, seeing the words lingering in her eyes.

They took each other then. It wasn’t frenzied, but neither was it gentle. They took each other - knife to its scabbard - moving hard, a need beyond mere wanting, bringing each other to the peaks of sensation and undoing again and again, to the edge of release. Till finally the shuddering denial became unbearable, Claire tightened her legs around his hips, urging him deeper, forcing him to let go. He echoed her shattered scream as they both fell over the edge of oblivion.

***

“You and Murtagh will wait for me on Kattegat’s southern border, by the coast,” Jamie was saying as they huddled over a crude map he’d drawn on the ground. He’d tasked them with aquiring a sturdy skiff that could quickly take them down the coast to Ribe. It was the fastest way he could think to get them swiftly away once he found a way to get Lamb out. “Keep to the bluffs for cover,” he said to Murtagh using a twig to mark the area on the map, “ye ken where. I will find you.”

“Aye,” Murtagh replied, studying the map.

With the Gathering only meant to last three days, Jamie’s window of opportunity was a tight one. Everything had to go according to plan - he had little chance of convincing either uncle to end hostilities, but his focus wasn’t on his uncles anymore and he prayed it would be enough. He couldn’t yet let himself think about what escape meant. About the chance of seeing home and family once more. With a wife no less. He couldn’t yet let himself hope.

“May the weather stay in our favor,” Jamie said, looking to the cold but clear heavens through the forest canopy.

Still looking at the map, Claire took his hand and squeezed. “May luck be on yours,” she simply said.

***

They departed the next morning - Jamie for Dufgall’s camp, Claire and Murtagh for Kattegat - Claire adamant no goodbyes were exchanged. Jamie had nonetheless taken his time kissing her - as he had taken his time the night before as they tangled around each other in bed - before they left.

Claire could not quite wrap her mind around how much had changed since that fateful dawn Jamie had come into her life. Her Berserker, her husband, her best friend. His steps did not falter as he headed - yet again - into a unknown situation.

And here she was, with her tightly braided hair, her shield strapped to her back over her fur cloak, short sword and dagger on the belt of her breeks. Her dark, supple leather tunic keeping the chill of weather and fear at bay. Both her and Murtagh carrying large leather packs ladened with supplies. Would Lamb even recognize her now?

Kattegat was a hive of activity when Claire and Murtagh arrived. Claire kept the hood of her cloak up even as she and Murtagh blended into throngs of people that had accompanied their lesser Earls for the Gathering.

“How are we going to steal a boat with all these eyes around?” Claire whispered to Murtagh as he led them through the crowds.

“ _Steal_?” Murtagh said incredulous, coming to a stop. “We arena stealing a thing! There is a reason I took work with the boat builders, lass. I've been preparing for this day since the moment I arrived here. So, nay, we arena stealing.”

Claire smiled at his prim tone. “So what are we doing, then?”

“There’s a man that owes me a favor. I mean to collect.”

***

Kalman’s hold was much like Jamie remembered it. The doors opened to as grand a hall as there was, the large, rectangular fire pit in its centre splitting the walkway down the middle, deterring any enemy forces from flooding in and attacking. The two aisles were lined with Kalman’s men, leaving little room for a brawl - forcing all those that entered to split their forces. Kalman himself sat on his raised throne at the far end of the hall, flanked by his loyal bannermen and kin, watching as his brother’s contingent slowly filed in, Jamie at Dufgall’s shoulder.

Jamie’s eyes immediately began scanning the room. Not for any potential enemies, but for Lamb.

“ _Welcome home, brother,_ ” Kalman’s cold voice boomed, pulling Jamie’s focus. “ _Nephew_ ,” he added, inclining his head towards Jamie, who in turn bowed his head and subtly resumed his search.

Dufgall watched his brother carefully, but said nothing. The tension in the room was palpable and Jamie could feel no peace would be found here today.

Kalman knew it too, for he said, “ _Eat, rest. Tomorrow we talk terms_ ,” just as Jamie’s gaze found a man standing half hidden behind Kalman, near a door to an adjoining room. His eyes warily apprehensive as he watched they simmering volatility. Jamie knew immediately. Saw Claire in his whisky eyes. He was exactly how Claire had described him, if a little rougher around the edges - the full beard unkempt, his skin sallow and shoulders turned inward.

Tentatively, carefully, Dufgall’s contingent broke apart and mixed into the crowd, quiet chatter began to fill the silence. Jamie slowly wove through the crowds. First getting myself a horn of ale before making his approach to Lamb. He knew eyes were upon him as much as they were on Dufgall, he’d need to be careful. Lamb made his way to the spit of meat roasting over the fire pit, Jamie trailing behind.

Without looking at the old man, Jamie said into his cup only loud enough for him to hear, “Lamb Beauchamp,” in his own tongue. “Don’t... react,” Jamie hissed as the man violently started. “Keep your eyes on the meat. I’m here to get you out. Claire-”

“She is alive?!” Lamb urgently interrupted. “She is alright?”

“She is whole. She lives and she misses you desperately,” Jamie reassured him and saw the tension drain from Lamb’s shoulders.

“Thank god,” the old man breathed, and Jamie was worried his knees would altogether buckle beneath him. “I did not know. We heard of the raid, but... I did not know all this time what had befallen her.”

Jamie grabbed a slice of meat and chewed slowly as a group of men went by, Lamb following suit.

“I will tell you all you wish to know, but we will have to be careful. I am here to bring you back to her,” Jamie said.

“How do I know I can trust you,” Lamb asked warily, giving Jamie a harsh sidelong stare, taking in his size, scruff and aloof demeanor he always adopted when around his uncles’ men.

“Because,” Jamie said, slipping a hand into his pocket, coming away with a small object and slipping it into Lamb’s hand. “She asked me to give you this.”

Lamb stared down at the chipped arrowhead, his eyes brimming with tears.

Claire had given it to Jamie the last night they spent together. She’d fished it out from the bottom of her medicine box. A token and talisman she’d carried with her wherever she went, she’d said.

“I can not believe she kept this... “ Lamb said quietly, wiping his eyes and running a thumb over the smooth surface. “It was the first bit of history she ever uncovered with me, when we first began our journey north.”

Jamie couldn’t resist briefly clapping a hand to Lamb’s shoulder.

“Stay alert and ready,” Jamie said, moving away from him. He’d lingered too long already. “I’ll find you again when I can.”

Lamb gave an infinitesimal nod in answer before meandering through the crowd, the arrowhead tightly clenched in his palm.

Jamie found a spot in a dark corner and leaned against the wall, sipping his ale. His mind and heart racing as he watched the men around him begin to loosen with drink. He’d found Lamb. All he needed now was a way out.

***


	13. Chapter 13

_-[Masterlist](https://suhailauniverse.tumblr.com/post/176911646858/suhailauniverse-fanfic-masterlist-missing)._

* * *

 

 

## Part 13.

 

 Jamie waited till well into the dead of night, memorizing the sentry rotations, before easily finding Lamb's chamber near the back of Kalman's hold. He knew the layout like the back of his hand, and observing Lamb take his leave from the Gathering, saw which adjoining hallway he'd taken.

Loosening the goat hide, he crept in through the window, his steps silent as death as he approached Lamb’s cot. Carefully he cupped his palm over Lamb’s mouth and whispered his name.

As he had anticipated, Lamb woke with a jolt, a shout stifled behind Jamie’s hand.

“Shhh!” he hissed at the old man, leaving the hide askew so enough light could filter into the room. Once Lamb registered it was him, Jamie felt him deflate.

“Lad,” Lamb breathed, “there are far better ways to wake a man up!” sitting up.

“Apologies,” Jamie said, leaning back on his hunches beside the cot. “There are sentries nearby, I couldna risk them hearing.”

Lamb rubbed the sleep and weariness from his eyes and stared at Jamie a moment. “What is your name, lad?” he asked suddenly.

Jamie blinked, realizing he’d never properly introduced himself. “James Fraser. But everyone calls me Jamie,” he said, feeling self-conscious in a way he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

“Your accent suggests you are a very long way away from home. How did you bring yourself here?”

“That,” Jamie sighed, “is a long story for another day. For now though we need to figure out how to get ourselves out of here unnoticed.”

“I am open to any suggestions you may have, my boy. Anything that will get me back to my niece’s side the fastest.”

“Aye,” Jamie said firmly.

And so they planned. For hours, they spoke in hushed tones through the night. The best chance they had was the next day, when Kalman and Dufgall held counsel with the other lesser Earls. All eyes and attention would be on the Gathering and not on two that slip away. The window of opportunity would be small and Jamie knew any number of things could go wrong, so he drew Lamb a crude map of where they were to go to meet with Claire and Murtagh should they be separated.

With everything set, Jamie made to leave, needing to get back before Dufgall realized he was gone. But as he moved towards the window, Lamb grabbed his sleeve, halting him.

“How did you come to know my niece,” he asked curiously, “to put your life in peril on her behalf?”

Jamie wondered for a moment how much he should tell the old man, how much Claire would want to explain herself. In the end, he settled for the only truth that matter for now. “She saved my life. In more ways than I can ever repay her for,” he said quietly and was gone a moment later.

***

The morning dawned with heavy clouds fit to burst. Jamie stared at the grool before him, his wame twisting in knots. He knew he’d keep none of it down. Everything seemed to turn to ash on his tongue.

Dufgall had been waiting for him, a blade in hand, when Jamie had returned to what was once Dufgall’s hold adjacent to Kalman’s, the night before.

“ _Where have you been, nephew_ ,” he had asked with deadly calm that made Jamie’s stomach drop and heart race.

“ _Watching Kalman’s sentries,_ ” Jamie had replied without skipping a beat.

“ _And what did you learn_?”

“ _He doubled the watch, but none make to move on us_.”

Dufgall had stood and strode for Jamie then and placed a hand on his shoulder. “ _Keep that keen eye of yours sharp, boy. You are going to need it._ ”

Jamie knew then the clouds weren’t going to be the only ominous things about the day. As he pushed the bowl of soggy oats away from him, Lars, one of the men who'd come to Jamie's side after his uncle had lashed him, one he'd come to respect in turn, sat down beside him.

“ _Where were you last night_?” he asked by way of greeting.

“ _Watching Kalman's defences,_ ” Jamie promptly replied.

“ _Dufgall, he plots something wicked,_ ” Lars whispered urgently. “ _He has no intention of negotiating today.”_

“ _I know._ ”

“ _What do we do_?”

And Jamie could hear the desperation in Lars’ voice. He looked into his face then, and saw reluctance and fear. He knew the men who didn’t wish to fight any more than he did. Knew they looked to him now for any alternative, any option at all that didn’t involve turning on the people they once called brothers.

“ _Did Dufgall say which men he’ll be going in with_?” Jamie asked under his breath.

“ _Only his most trusted, his most loyal. And you. The rest of us are to wait outside and wait for orders._ ” Lars replied.

Dufgall had taken a strong group of men in his contingent, a show of strength, but even he knew among them, only a handful would actually break Gathering rules.

It was time to play his hand. To trust his instincts and the men that had shown him kindness and respect.

“ _Speak to the men you trust want no part in this. Tell him to scatter, tell them to find what family they have in Kattegat and leave. Get word to those back at camp to do the same, if you can. But Lars, do it quietly! Do not rouse suspicion. Tell them to lay low and bide their time. And when they get their moment,_ ” Jamie paused. His next words would be the instant death of him should the wrong person hear, but he was out of time and caution had to be thrown to the winds. “ _Tell them to make the crossing. They will find safe haven, lands to work and a peaceful life worth fighting for in Scotia. On my land._ ”

Lars eyes widened. Whatever he’d been expecting Jamie to say, it certainly wasn’t that. But he took a steadying breath and nodded once, clapped Jamie on the shoulder and headed back into the crowd of Dufgall’s men. Jamie took a steadying breath of his own and stood, surprised his legs didn’t tremble. He watched Dufgall and the men he’d selected - armed to the teeth - stride through the room. Tension rippled through the room at the sight. War was coming to Kattegat and Jamie only prayed the Gods would spare him and Lamb long enough to see Claire again.

***

Jamie pressed his left index finger into the base of his thumb. The faint sting of the cut was a comfort. He shut his eyes and let the image of Claire brace him as they waited for Kalman’s men to open the great doors to the hall. Four men peeled away from the group and made their way to the back of the hold.

He needed to spot Lamb quickly.

The doors swung open, a gust of smoky air hit his face, stifling his breath. A rare sight greeted him on the dais at the far end of the hall, when his eyes cleared. Kalman the Boneless, standing. His misshapen legs uncovered and though he leaned heavily on two canes, he stood with his back straight, his chin held high. Despite himself, Jamie smiled at the defiance in Kalman’s face.

Kalman’s eyes narrowed at the weapons adorning Dufgall’s men as they filed into the room. “ _You violate Gathering decree, brother,”_  his voice boomed across the room. “ _We have yet to officially start and you challenge the very rules that bring us together._ ”

The lesser Earls began shifting uncomfortably, feeling naked without their own weapons.

“ _The time for talking is over,_ ” Dufgall said as his men took offensive positions around him. “I _am here to take what is rightfully mine. It was I that led conquest after successful conquest while you sat back and reaped the benefits of my blood, sweat and victories. It is time that I be recognized as the true Earl, brother._ ”

Jamie’s eyes landed on Lamb’s as Dufgall spoke. He saw understanding dawn on the man’s face. He gave Lamb an infinitesimal nod, who slowly began moving back toward the adjoining hallway that led to his chamber. It was the only safe point of exit now.

“ _There is far more to leadership,_ ” Kalman was saying, “ _than at the end of a sword. A true leader would know this._ ” Some of the lesser Earls nodded in agreement. “ _So what kind of leader will you be, Dufgall. One drenched in blood, or one that puts his people before his ego? Are you here to take it by force_?” Kalman challenged.

“ _I am here to take it however I have to_ ,” Dufgall spat back. “ _When was the last time you led a raiding party? The last time you defended your bannerman in battle_?” Dufgall drew his sword and pointed it at the throne behind Kalman. “ _That seat belongs to me. To all the men that have bled for Kattegat._ ” He then addressed the lesser Earls that stood shifting on their feet. “ _Who will you stand with? The man who comes to your aid when you call_?” he asked, tapping his sword’s blade to his chest, “ _or the man that sits behind better men as they die in his name_?” he pointed his sword at Kalman.

One of the lesser Earls took a step forward. “ _It was not Kalman that attacked our lands these seasons past, but you. It has not been Kalman that has brought unrest in our lands. Kalman has always treated us fairly and with respect. He has never needlessly shed our blood when there was no cause or need for it._ ”

“ _I do not think I made myself clear. The time for debates is over. You have only one option today: You either stand with me, or against me. My men surround this hold. There will be only one outcome. How much blood is spilled will be up to you._ ”

As the war of words raged on, Jamie had stealthy peeled away from Dufgall’s group and used the shadows along the wall to work his way closer to the hallway Lamb had managed to slip through minutes earlier. There was no stopping what was to come, but he needed to get out of the line of melee before things got dicey.

He suddenly felt a shift in the very air of the room. He chanced a glance over his shoulder to see lesser Earls moving. Choosing their elegances. Far more chose to stand in front of Kalman, blocking Dufgall’s path to his brother. Weapons or no, they’d chosen.

“ _So be it,_ ” Dufgall said, drawing a long dagger with his free hand.

***

It was absolute mayhem. Jamie’s heart hammered painfully in his chest as pushed and fought his way toward the back hallway. He refused to draw his sword, not against those that had none. He used his fists, shoulders, legs, his entire body to push through the crush of bodies between him and Lamb. As he got past the dais, he caught sight of Kalman watching him. As men fought bloody battles around him, Kalman had eyes only for Jamie, a look of near sorrow in his eyes. Jamie had never had a close relationship with Kalman in all the years he had been there, he’d barely spoken to the man in any real way. But in that moment, as Kalman looked at him with eyes so much like his mother’s, Jamie paused. A cry from behind pulled his attention, Dufgall was getting closer, but Kalman still stared, as if memorizing every detail in Jamie’s face.

Then Kalman slowly raised a hand to his chest, over his heart and soundlessly mouthed “ _forgive me,_ ” just as the slash of a blade came down across his back. Jamie could do nothing as he watched Dufgall stand over his brother with a bloodied blade, a pained look on his face. Jamie turned on his heels and ran down the hall as Dufgall caught sight of him.

“ _BOY_!” he heard Dufgall bellow behind him. But he didn’t spare him a second glance. Turn after turn, Jamie took without slowing, until after what felt like an eternity, he spotted Lamb’s door. There was only one man between him and Lamb, whether he was one of Kalman’s or Dufgall’s, Jamie didn’t care as he tackled the man in his path at full speed, then smashed his head into the ground, keeping him down.

He found Lamb standing petrified in his chamber, a small pack clutched between his hands, the cries of death ringing around them.

“We have to move now!” Jamie shouted over the ding, moving for the window.

He peered outside, but saw none of the men Dufgall had claimed surrounded the hold. He grabbed Lamb by the collar and hauled him through the window without ceremony, just as footsteps began thundering through the hallway. Lamb fell heavily but found his feet as Jamie landed beside him.

“We cannot go through Kattegat, surely?” Lamb said, looking towards the sounds of clashing blades now coming from the front of the hold.

“No, we willna,” Jamie assured him, beginning them jogging in the opposite direction.

“I thought you said Claire was south of us, with your kinsman?”

“Aye, they are. But we’re going the long way round.”

“Will it take long?” Lamb asked, keeping up with the brisk pace Jamie was setting.

“No, not if luck is still on our side!” Jamie said, and pressed his index finger into the base of his thumb again, sending a prayer to any Gods still listening to let it be so. To let him see his wife one more time.

***


	14. Chapter 14

## Part 14.

 

 Claire watched from the shadows of a skeleton boat as Murtagh haggled with a short, robust man. Their conversation becoming more animated the longer it went. She couldn’t hear what they said over the ding of hammers on wood, but after a few more energetic gestures, the men almost nose to nose, Murtagh made his way back to her.

“Friend of yours?” she joked.

“Och aye! Anager’s a good man. Canty forebye! I helped him build his sister a goat pen after marauders burnt it down a few years back. Then helped track the men and put them down,” he said casually. “He builds the small fishing boats hereabouts.”

“And you can trust him?” Claire asked, giving Anager a judicious look.

“Aye. Just told him I needed to teach my niece,” he gestured at her, “recently arrived from inland, how to fish for the winter in case I canna do it for her.”

“And he believed you?”

“I can be very convincing when I want to be, lass!”

And so they set off on the ricketiest little boat Claire had ever seen. The only one Anager could spare, apparently. Claire was sure with their combined weight the boat would promptly sink, but it held them well enough.

They made it to the cove Jamie had marked for them - a safe haven. But Claire quickly realized safe it may be but comforting it was not. When she had things to occupy her mind - travel, gathering supplies, navigating the short distance down the coast, setting up camp in the hidden cove - her worry for Jamie and Lamb wasn’t yet crippling. But the moment she and Murtagh settled down for the evening, all her fears and anxieties rushed to the surface. They had no clear view of Kattegat from their vantage point, but its presence loomed over them like a rain cloud. There was an unnatural hush around them that neither was ready to acknowledge. Claire looked toward Kattegat, could see it freshly in her mind’s eye and remembered a once half-forgotten God.

_Lord, that he may be safe. He and Lamb._

***

Claire tossed and turned through the night, even the echo of the memory of Jamie’s arms could not sooth her. She could feel Murtagh across the fire, as awake as her, poking the logs with a stick, making them crackle.

“The lad will be fine,” he said suddenly.

Claire sat up, propped up on her elbow. “I wish I could carry your certainty,” she said.

“Perhaps it is because I’ve known him since he was a wee’un,” Murtagh mused.

Claire snorted. “Well, for as long as I’ve known him, he has had an unsettling ability of always being in need of a healer.”

“Perhaps just a  _particular_ healer?” Murtagh said with surprising cheek, making Claire breathe a laugh.

They watched the fire for a time, the soothing lap of the water the only sound above its crackle. There had been something Claire had been meaning to ask Murtagh for a while, but hadn’t known how to start or even let herself imagine that far ahead. But here, in the dark quiet, she knew only the flicker of hope would be her only comfort.

“Murtagh…”

“Hmmm?”

“What are… what are Jamie’s family like? His parents?” she asked, not meeting his eye.

He considered for a moment, then reached into his pack and pulled out a skin of ale and took a sip, passing it to her after he’d done so. “They are good people. Great people. Loyal to a fault. They love fiercely. Fight fiercely too, for those they love. Ye willna meet better people. They willna shun ye if that is what worries ye.” He guessed her fears before she’d even found words for what it was.

“I just cannot help but wonder what they would make of their son, who they have not seen in years, finally returning to them, but with a bride at his side,” she confessed.

“I think- I  _know_  - it would hearten them beyond measure to seeing their lad inexplicably find love and happiness in this -” he gestured vaguely around them, “- utter misery. To see that this harsh life that his mother knows all too well, didna extinguish that spark in his eyes. That his life wasna all darkness. His mother,” he said, and a fond smile like Claire had never seen before bloomed on Murtagh’s scruffy face, “Ye ken she was a shield maiden in Dufgall’s party?” At her nod, he continued, “aye, well, she’s a formidable woman. She is strong and wild when she needs to be, but she is also soft and quick with a smile. And tender,  _so_ tender, especially when it comes to her bairns. She has kent what it is to live on a knife’s edge and not lose yerself. Her lad almost lost himself in this place, but ye showed him a love that brought back his tenderness, his smile. Ye made him think and rationalize like his Da, again. Ye gave him back his family in a way I never could.” He went silent for a while as Claire quietly sniffed and discreetly wiped a tear away before it could fall. “So, dinna fret, lass, ye are his family. His heart. And for that alone, so will the Frasers be as well.”

Claire nodded once again trying to swallow the lump in her throat, and lay back down watching the stars peeking through the clouds. She knew her fears were irrational, but in a strange way, thinking about a future where she met his family gave her hope that this wasn’t all there was ever going to be - living in fear at every turn, running to stay alive, not knowing if ever she would see Jamie and Lamb again - that there was something to look forward to, that there was hope for a normal life. A life full of laughter and love.

_Lord, that he may be safe. He and Lamb._

***

“Up, lass!”

Hearing the urgency in Murtagh’s voice, Claire sat bolt upright.

“What is it?” She asked automatically, eyes adjusting to the dim morning light.

“Kattegat burns,” was all Murtagh said as he stared off into the distance. She followed his gaze and a sharp breath caught in her throat. Large plumes of smoke rose high into the sky in the distance, faint snippets of shouts catching on the wind. Claire immediately got to her feet and moved to Murtagh’s side, fear rippling through her.

“What do we do?” she asked quietly.

“We wait.”

***

Jamie’s lungs were burning. He knew so were Lamb’s by the sound of his heavy breathing behind him. The thick smoke singed up his nose. But he didn’t dare stop. He had already had to cut down two men who’d barreled through Lamb’s window after them. Jamie’s sword felt heavy in his hand, but he didn’t lower it, not even as he saw Lamb slow down behind him. He grabbed the man by the collar and hauled him forward. They had to keep moving.

“Think of Claire!” Jamie urged, “push through the pain by thinking of Claire!”

They made it through the treeline without anymore encounters, but Jamie knew they couldn’t afford to slack. With his sure footing he led Lamb through the woods, it would take half a day to get to the cove if they didn’t stop, but Jamie was taking no chances they’d be followed, and giving Lamb moments of respite, would double back and cover their tracks.

By midday, the grim sounds from Kattegat had faded. Jamie briefly left Lamb by a small stream to catch his breath and have a drink of water while he doubled back once more. When he returned Lamb was already waiting.

“Any sign of pursuit?” he asked.

“No,” Jamie replied, “but we cannot be too careful.”

Lamb nodded picking up his pack and followed Jamie through the woods. They moved swiftly for a few more hours, neither having any breath to spare for words. When they’d finally cleared the woods, they saw the pillars of smoke rising from where Kattegat sat in the valley below. Whatever Dufgall had imagined, Jamie thought, it didn’t quite go according to his plan. He’d met far more resistance than he’d anticipated.

Jamie let out his first breath of relief when he was finally hit with the welcome scent of brine in the air, he felt the tension slightly leave Lamb’s shoulders when he too realized they were close. He could see the jagged cliffs ahead and prayed Claire and Murtagh had made it.

***

For hours, Claire paced back and forth, her eyes scanning the two narrow entry points into their cove. Murtagh busied himself checking and rechecking the boat and their supplies. She knew waiting couldn’t actually kill her, but there was no denying it clearly was going to be the death of her. The helplessness had been absolute and utterly agonizing.

It came as no surprise to her in a distant sort of way when the sound of crunching gravel under foot stopped her heart, then took her legs completely away from her when Jamie and Lamb came into view as they rushed down one of the steep and narrow paths. She didn’t feel the sharp stones digging into her knees as racking sobs escaped her, her tightly coiled emotions she’d kept held in, breaking free. She cupped her hands over her mouth trying to keep them from spilling out and undoing her completely. But it was no use, not when she felt Jamie’s strong, familiar hands take hold of her elbows and raise her to her feet.

She buried her face in his chest, her fingers fisted into his shirt as he wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back trying to ease her, making gentle soothing noise as he did so. She pulled away and blindly reached for Lamb, who grasped her hand tightly in turn. Through her tears, she cupped Lamb’s gaunt face, she couldn’t believe he finally stood before her - whole and alive - before wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

“It’s alright, my girl,” soothed Lamb, giving her hearty pats on the shoulder. “I am alright. Shaken but whole. Your friend saw to it.”

Claire pulled away slightly. “Friend?” she asked, voice thick with emotion. One look at Jamie and she could tell he hadn’t told Lamb about them. She smiled at his sheepish expression. “He is a little more than that,” she said, holding a hand out to him to join her by her side. “Lamb, I would very much like you to meet… my husband.”

A myriad of emotions flashed across Lamb’s face. Not least of all joy. “My girl!” he exclaimed, “I feared for you every moment of every day. It fills me with such relief and elation to know you were not alone.”

“She is the strongest person I have ever met,’ Jamie put in, his voice full of pride as he beamed at Claire. She smiled back and tucked herself into his side.

Murtagh - who had been standing by the boat, watching the scene unfold - cleared his throat. “We best be going. It isna safe to linger, we can speak more on the journey, aye?” he said.

Jamie gave him a grateful smile and went to hug him. “Aye,” he said, “aye, ye’re right.” He turned back to Claire, who had her arms around her uncle again as they followed behind. “So, Sassenach,” he asked, “are ye ready to go home?”

“Yes,” she simply said as he helped into the boat. She had never been more ready for anything - save Jamie - in her life.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to give everyone a head’s up, 'The Berserker' will be taking a two week or so break, starting next week. I won’t be having much time to write, but hopefully will get back to it soon as I can next month.
> 
>  
> 
> Apologies and hugs in advance!


	15. Chapter 15

## Part 15.

 

  And speak they did. Claire told Lamb everything. Every harrowing and happy detail. Lamb in turn told her his tale. The lesser Earl’s decision to keep moving to Kattegat and take his place at Kalman’s side. Their refusal to let him - a foreigner with no allegiances - go. And try as he might, he could not glean any information about Claire’s well being.

And judging by his appearance, Claire could tell he’d long stopped eating, stopped sleeping. But the smile that permanently bloomed on his face was testament enough that his heart had once again began beating.

Their journey down to Ribe was unimpeded. Jamie and Murtagh always keeping a keen eye on the distant coastline, but they saw not a whisper of danger.

Ribe was a hive of activity. Word had reached it of the downfall of Kattegat’s Earl and the rise of his brother. Jamie chose to keep his hood up and head down. It was well known what and who he was and rather than draw attention to himself, he let Murtagh take the lead. It didn’t take them long to find the group readying themselves for the perilous journey across the sea.

Warriors, families and livestock littered the jutting docks as three boats were loaded with supplies. Murtagh quickly found and negotiated passage for their group while Claire, Jamie and Lamb went in search of supplies of their own.

“Two days,” Murtagh announced gruffly when they met up a few hours later. They had set up camp just off shore, the docks still within sight. “We just need to keep our wits about us until then.”

***

With passage bought and supplies gathered, the little group spent their time getting to know each other. By silent agreement however, hopes about the future and what they would find once back home, were left unsaid. Taking each moment as it came to them was all they were willing to let themselves enjoy.

The morning of their journey dawned with a bitingly bitter cold. Families and warriors alike busied themselves packing the last of the provisions into the boats. An air of anticipation hanging over all. Frantic riders had come through Ribe with cries of “ _Kattegat burns_!” and “ _The new Earl has been taken by Blood Lust_!”, setting everyone on edge. Dufgall - if rumor was to be believed - had gone into a rage at Jamie’s escape and had wasted no time in scouring the countryside looking for him.

As the day wore on, Jamie couldn’t help stem the anxiousness within him as it rose with every passing moment. Near midday however, his worst fears came to pass when a rider burst through Ribe. “ _A horde approaches_!” was his cry.

Without thinking or pause, Jamie and Murtagh took up their weapons. If they could with any luck buy the people making the journey some time to get away, they would. Jamie saw Claire, knuckles white against the pommel of her sword on her belt, her jaw clenched, staring at the direction the rider had come from, just as a screeching band of men came over the near horizon. The intensity of his gaze pulling hers back to him.

And with one shared look between them, Jamie threw Claire her shield.

***

The battle, though bloody, had been mercifully quick. The horde had turned out to be nothing more than a scouting party riding ahead of Dufgall’s main forces. Jamie, with Claire to his right and Murtagh to his left, held them off long enough for everyone to get aboard the boats - Lamb included. Once they were sure everyone had made it, the trio then began their retreat. Inch by inch, they made their way back to the last boat slowly pushing away from the dock, still waiting for them.

“Hurry!” Claire heard Lamb shout from behind her as she felled yet another man with a parry of her shield and slash of her sword. Jamie had moved ahead of her, taking the brunt of the onslaught, Murtagh taking position behind her.

“Jamie!” she called to him, as she and Murtagh edged down the jutting dock, “we need to go!”

Without looking back, Jamie downed another man, kicking another in the stomach and using his fallen body to slow the rush forward of two more men. Every instinct Jamie had told him not to turn his back and flee, leaving himself carelessly exposed, but as he teetered on indecision, an arrow came whistling past his shoulder, catching the man he faced in the heart. Jamie whirled to see men on the boat with bows drawn, giving him cover. Claire and Murtagh safely on the boat now as well, had their own bows in hand. Nocked and ready. With a smile at the fierce determination on his wife’s blood splattered face as she sent an arrow cutting through the air and into the shoulder of the man closest to Jamie, he turned on his heel and ran down the quay.

The boat had began gaining speed as the momentum of the rowers began to pick up. Jamie pumped his legs hard against the slick boards beneath his feet, the whoosh of arrows flying past.

“Jump!” Claire bellowed, putting her bow down and stretching out her hand to him. “Jump _now_!”

He tossed his sword into the boat, forcing men to take a step back as it clattered at their feet. Claire’s heart raced. The boat had gotten the length of two men away from the quay, but as Jamie let out a roar and leapt, his legs still pumping through the air, her heart stopped. Everything seemed to have slowed down. Sound itself ceased to exist. Claire had not even noticed one of the men pursuing Jamie had jumped too, until Murtagh had shot him right out of the air, making him slam into the water with an almighty splash.

Jamie unceremoniously crashed into Claire and three other men that had been waiting to catch him. He’d barely cleared the railing, his ankle clipping it at the last second. So forcefully he’d careened into them, he’d even managed to make the back of the boat slide slightly across the water.

“ _Come on_!” Murtagh was yelling, as he half leaned off the boat’s stern waving his bow at the men remaining on the quay. “ _So I can finishing ripping yer balls off_!”

“Mercy,” Lamb breathed out, stunned and sat down heavily.

Jamie rolled over, realizing he half lay across Claire’s legs. He looked up at her face, her breathing labored as she gasped to regain what had been knocked out by their collision. They looked at each other for a long moment in disbelief, their breath coming fast and heavy. Then, the single, most mischievous smile she’d ever seen split across his face.

“James Fraser,” Claire laughed, “if you say you want to do that again, I may have to knock you out with the pommel of my sword!”

The laughter the broke from both of them was as much from pure joy as it was of relief. A laughter that then spread from one man to the next, until its ding echoed throughout the three boats now swiftly making their way side by side away from Ribe’s harbour and out towards open sea.

And towards home.

***

“What is it like?” Claire whispered into Jamie’s ear as his back pressed to her front where they sat. “Lallybroch.”

The night’s peaceful hush a welcome relief after the day’s skirmish. A starry night that dared her to finally hope for a future. Everyone having found a spot to get comfortable, letting the adrenaline wash away from them and welcome sleep, it felt as if they were the only two left in the world.

“Och,” he said, intertwining his with hers. “‘Tis beautiful, Sassenach,” he whispered back, his voice barely audible over the lapping of water against the boat. “There’s a wee herb garden I think ye’ll really like and a large kailyard. The grounds are large and for all its wildness, it doesna feel imposing. The house wasna so big, but it was comfortable and always filled with laughter and warmth. It is the memory of that warmth I carried with me for a long time, and nearly forgot before I found ye. Before I left,” he said, voice catching on the last word, “my da, brother and I were building a large stable. It was near finished. I suppose it must be by now…” he finished with a tinge of bitter longing.

Claire squeezed his fingers, resting their hands over his heart. “And what did you do for fun?” she asked, trying to steer him away from the memories of that painful parting.

“Swam in the wee pond!” he said, and she heard the instant childhood joy at the nostalgic memory. “My brother and I would swim whenever we werena doing our chores or training. Even in winter! We’d dare each other to see who could stay in the icy water the longest. He always won though.”

“Why?”

“You should thank me on that account, Sassenach. I couldna help but always be afraid my cock would snap off,” he said with a devilish grin. “Especially after it would go into hidin’, aye.”

She slapped his shoulder playfully and kissed his cheek, wrapping her arms tightly around him.

“I cannot wait for ye to see it,” he said.

“Neither can I.”

***


	16. Chapter 16

## Part 16.

 

 It took them four days to make landfall. They had encountered rough seas and a storm that had separated them from one of the other boats in that night. But one they blessedly found not half a day later. The weather conditions were nothing compared to the excitement when word got round of who Jamie really was. And what he and his small band had done for those making the journey. A journey it turned out, that had not been sanctioned by the new Earl, but the former. They had stood and fought for them, without asking for anything in return.

It was unclear where most who had made the journey were choosing to settle, yet after Kalman’s fall, some - like so many before them - were preparing to fight, while others were determined to honor the treaties Kalman had forged.

Jamie however, had another idea.

“ _Come with us to Lallybroch_ ,” he said to Biorn, the leader of the boat party. “ _There is plenty of land. A place where the families here can choose to settle in peace and be part of a community that chooses to live together._ ”

“ _And who are you in this land to promise such a thing_?” Biorn asked skeptically.

“ _You know who my family is_ ,” Jamie said simply.

“ _It has been many a moon since last you were here, boy. Who is to say your home still stands. Let alone be strong enough to take us all_ ,” Biorn gestured to the families offloading their supplies.

“ _I have nothing but my faith and hope it still stands,_ ” Jamie replied honestly, “ _there is only one way to find out. And you have nothing to lose._ ”

Why Jamie was so determined to give these people a safe haven was a mystery to Murtagh, who grumbled about the laboured progress they now made over the rugged terrain he and Jamie had longed for for so many years. Claire on the other hand knew exactly why Jamie did it. Knew that if he could spare one person, one child, from the horror of bloodshed, even for a moment, he would.

The weather decidedly shifted from a crisp autumn to a biting winter as the small caravan made their way over one wild munro after another. Permafrost crusted over every surface of land, making their footing dangerously precarious. Every able man and woman took turns carrying the young children with them when the terrain allowed. But the going was slow, the cold itself seeming like a great barrier between them and Lallybroch.

One night as they huddled around a fire, Claire nursing a particularly angry looking blister on the heel of her foot, Jamie leaned in and wrapped his blanket around them both, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“Do you know what day it is, Sassenach?” he asked.

“A bloody freezing one, I’d wager,” she said, cuddling into his side after slipping back on her stocking and boot.

Jamie huffed a laugh. “Aye, it is that. But it is not what I meant,” he said and turned her to face him. “Six moons ago, I walked into a barn with nothing but death in me. But what I found instead was life. Fierce, burning life. I found my other half.” He pulled out a roughly hewn silver ring, beaten and battered into exquisite shape and design, and took her right hand in his left. “I do not know, if anything, what we may find when we get to Lallybroch,” he continued, slipping the ring onto her ring finger, fitting perfectly, “but I know that we can face it together.”

“Jamie…” Claire breathed, her eyes transfixed on the ring. Every measured blow was raw power contained, strength carefully and delicately harnessed. The craftsmanship undeniably Viking, yet there was something about it, she thought, giving the ring a closer inspection. Something quintessentially Celtic about it. “It’s beautiful.”

“In honor of both my parents,” Jamie said, watching her trace the bumps and whorls. He brought his right hand to hers, and she saw the twin ring to hers, albeit a thicker band, on his ring finger. A simple yet undeniable gesture of their bond. A unique token of their union.

“I ken it is not much and I have not had much to give ye, ever-”

“Jamie,” Claire interrupted him, taking his face in her hands and looking him in the eye, “ _you_  will always be more than enough for me. Always. You belong to no one else but me, and I belong to you. Nothing will ever change that.”

***

On their sixth day of travel, Lallybroch came into view. And it took Jamie’s breath away. In many ways, it was exactly how he remembered it, but it had changed. Had grown. The homestead had been expanded, the stable finished. He felt the sting in his eyes seeing the early winter frost coat the sprawling grounds. He’d paused, feet rooted to the ground as he saw figures - nothing more than pinpricks in the distance - briskly moving around the near frozen kaleyard. Her felt Claire’s fingers entwine with his and squeeze.

The entire party had paused behind him.

“What do I say?” he said, quiet enough so only Claire could hear.

“They are your family, you don’t have to say anything at all,” she replied, nudging him forward.

***

Her back was turned when Jamie saw her. They’d slowly made their way down the pathway that led to the homestead, his mother was knelt by the small cabbage patch. She slowly straightened up as she heard their approach, her hand instinctively going to the knife on her belt as she turned.

Claire felt Jamie tense. She stood slightly behind him and wished beyond anything that she could have seen his face as his eyes locked with those of his mother’s - eyes identical to his own. But she could see the emotion on Elin Fraser’s face. The myriad of emotions blooming on her face - from shock and disbelief to utter relief - as it registered who stood before her. A man much changed yet still her boy. Tears welled up as she saw and heard nothing but Jamie.

“Jamie….” she breathed, watching him for a long moment. “ _Ciamar a tha tu, mo chridhe_?” she asked suddenly, her voice thick with emotion. Claire had come to pick up enough Gaelic since meeting Jamie and Murtagh to tentatively understand her.  _How are you, darling?_

Jamie took a step forward. “ _Tha mi gle mhath, mathair_ ,” he replied, hesitantly.  _I am well, mother._

“ _An e ‘n fhirinn a th’aged_?” she asked, closing the gap between them.  _Do you tell me true?_

“Aye,” Jamie said, opening his arms to her as she stepped into his embrace and sobbed. “Aye, I am, Ma.”

The world seemed to have melted away as mother and son clung to one another. But as the restless shuffling of the Viking band grew, their precarious reunion was abruptly cut short when Elin peeked over her son’s shoulder and took in the sight of the disheveled bunch.

“What’s this?” she asked in the common tongue, using her sleeve to wipe away her tears.

Jamie’s glistening eyes found Claire’s at once, outstretching his hand to her. “Ma, I would like you to meet my wife. Claire,” he said barely containing his joy. “And these,” he gestured to the group at large, “are our companions. They’ve traveled wi’ us in hopes they’d find a safe haven here.”

“ _Wife_?” Elin repeated, dumbstruck.

Just then, a man came round the side of the house, leaning heavily on a wooden cane, his beard thick and grayed. Jamie’s entire body froze.

“Da?” he breathed, voice breaking at the labored, uneven gait.

“Blessed Bride… Jamie? Is that you, lad?” the man called, coming to a stop as his eyes took in the sight.

Elin reluctantly detached herself from her son as he hesitated a step towards his father.

An old, forgotten strength gathered in Brian Fraser as he let his cane drop to the ground, unremembered and limped into his son’s arms.

***

By the time Jamie and Claire had finished explaining who their party were and recounted all that had happened in Kattegat - Murtagh and Lamb filling in where they could - it was well past midnight. The families had been settled in where ever space could be found; be it barn or tented field, everyone seemed grateful to finally have a quiet place to rest their heads.

Claire could feel Elin’s eyes on her. On and off through the night, Claire felt the air of curiosity in the gaze. Curiosity and questions. A sizing up of the woman who had captured her son’s heart. A delicate balance that would soon be unavoidable. But for now, both women were contented in sharing their family’s tentative joy at being reunited.

They fell silent after a while, sharing a dram, a cold howling wind and the crackling fire the only sounds, Jamie eyes lingering on his father’s cane as they had that evening. The questions in him burning, but fear of their answers scaring him into silence.

“The night you were taken,” Elin began following his gaze. “The night William… It was a great shock to your father-”

“It was a great shock to us all,  _mo chridhe_ ,” Brian put in gently.

“Aye it was,” she returned with a smile, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “The apoplexy took your Da before any one of us could react. I just thank every God that will listen everyday it didn’t take him where I could not follow.”

“I’m so sorry, Da,” Jamie whispered in a voice Claire had never heard before. A voice that squeezed her heart. The voice of a young boy.

Brian sat forward, drink forgotten beside him and cupped his son’s face in his hands, giving him a gentle shake. “It wasna your fault, lad. Do you hear me,  _a bhalach_? It wasna your brother’s fault either, it wasna anyone’s fault but Dufgall and Kalman’s.”

Jamie nodded sheepishly, unable to meet his father’s eye. Claire had seen the man she loved in all manner of states; from fierce warrior to tender lover. From cheeky best friend to reluctant leader. But she never thought in life she would see him so. As gentle son. And knew the depths of her love for him would never cease. That she found she would love him more everyday than she she the day before and never tire of it. Of him.

She felt it then. A tiny fluttering sensation, at once entirely familiar and completely new. Like a burst of butterfly wings beating inside her that made her heart skip a beat and her breath catch. And knew she was not alone.

***


	17. Chapter 17

## Part 17.

 

 Claire hadn’t yet had the chance to tell Jamie her news. With one thing or another, she simply had not found the right time. They had all been busy helping build makeshift homes in pieces of Fraser land Brian had generously offered. With winter on their doorstep, there was not much that could be done but get everyone as comfortable and settled. Having no warning of their arrival, there had not been time to gather enough food and supplies. Everything, however, it had been agreed, would be shared as best as possible.

What time Claire and Jamie did have together was spent mostly sleeping. As it was, they were more like two ships on a foggy sea, as one tended to what sickness and injuries arose, the other helped with building the shelters. It was a tentative settling-in period, a coming together of new rhythms and personalities.

On one rare night they found themselves in bed together, wrapped in each others arms, bodies leaden with exhaustion - too tired to move, minds to awake to sleep - they lay listening to the hailstorm clattering against the roof of their sturdy, makeshift shelter just off to the side of the main house.

Soon, they’d be permanently settled. They had found a place to call home and build a life. It had been more than Claire could’ve ever have asked for, and yet she couldn’t help but worry. They had known each but a few months, months fraught with danger and adventure, and burning passion - each touch and word still a discovery. What would happen when they had become thoroughly accustomed to each other? Living day by day in a routine of mundane tasks. She felt that flutter in her belly once more - was it nerves or the life she carried, she could not tell.

“Jamie?” she whispered into the darkness. She knew he was still awake - his finger tracing whorls over her back.

“Hmmm…”

“Will you…” she began, “Will you grow tired of me, do you think?” she breathed. “Once we’re settled?”

“I was just wondering the same thing about you, Sassenach.”

“Were you?”

“Aye. Once we’ve become completely accustomed to each other. I canna help but wonder if… This life will be enough for ye.” She heard the silent words he could not bring himself to say.  _Will I be enough?_

Claire propped herself up on her elbow to better get a look at his face, eyes adjusting to the darkness, before she spoke again. “Jamie,” she said, running a finger down his cheek. “Love, you’re…. Everything to me. Always.”

He leaned up and kissed her, feeling her lips trembling against his.

“And I willna tire of ye either, my Sassenach. That I can promise ye,” he said into her neck as he brought her in for a hug.

“How do you know?” she asked quietly, settling down once more, her nose inches from his on the pillow. His eyes twinkled, that cheeky smile she loved so much touching the edge of his lips.

“Because I wanted ye from the first moment I saw ye. But I loved ye when ye patched me up that first time in the woods.” He rolled on top of her then, cupping her neck in his palm, his thumb tracing her jawline. “But now I wake up everyday and I find that I love ye more than I did the day before,” he said, kissing her slow and deep. “That is how I know. And know it of ye as well.”

She took his face in her hands, a tear rolling down the side of her face and into her hair. “I love you,” she whispered, her body arching towards his, aching for any and all contact to be had.

His body responded in kind, and in the dead of night, all exhaustion was forgotten, as they found a renewed vigor in each other’s naked embrace.

***

The next day, Claire found herself knee deep in mucky snow, helping Elin salvage what vegetables they could from the winter frost. The men had all gone to help raise the roof of a temporary longhouse the new settlers would be using for the winter. Every able hand that wasn’t helping gather food and supplies, was needed.

They worked in an amiable silence for a while, but Claire could feel Elin’s eyes flick towards her, as they so often did since she had arrived. There wasn’t any malice in it, just… a wariness. Claire wracked her brain for something to say, something to break the growing charged silence.

She cleared her throat, the cold making it croaky. “Jamie told me he has a sister.”

“Aye,” Elin replied, digging deep to uproot a cabbage. “Jenny. She’s wed now and lives with her husband, Ian, on his family’s farm. We sent word of Jamie’s return, but she’s with child - her second - and it would not be safe for her to travel now.”

“Perhaps when things are more settling here, we could visit. I know Jamie misses her terribly and I would love to meet her as well,” Claire offered.

“And being a healer, you could perhaps share your expertise?” Elin asked, looking over at Claire who was having a tug of war with a carrot.

“Of course!” Claire exclaimed. “I’d love to help in any way I can.”

Their conversation continued along casual lines, but Claire could clearly feel the unspoken words beneath.

“Jamie tells me you were a shield maiden before settling down with Brian here?”

“Aye, but it was naught compared to being a wife and mother.”

_I had the nurturing and the loving of him as a boy. What will you do with the man I help make?_

“He tells me you’re a rare fine healer. Unlike any he’s ever seen.”

“I mended a gash across his stomach when first we met.”

_Yes, I’m capable, and gentle, and will care for him._

“Ye say ye married soon after meeting.”

_Did you wed my son for his lands and money?_

“I would not exactly say soon - we had traveled for many a month and got to know each other rather well in a very unorthodox way - but yes, it may seem quick. Beyond knowing he was nephew to Kalman and Dufgall though, he was but a young man I’d met and fell in love with, in a land that wasn’t our own, but one we would have made our home if we’d had to.”

_I didn’t care if he was laird of the place; I can only have loved and married him for himself._

And so it went, taking each other’s measure throughout the day. Exchanging bits of information and opinions. Filling in blanks that only they could, about his history and the lost time.

As evening began to set in, baskets full of vegetables for the stores, The two women made their way over muddy paths, the brisk wind whipping their hair around.

“When will you tell him?” Elin asked suddenly, going four steps before realizing Claire had stopped dead at her question. She turned to see blank shock on her face. “That you are with child?” she said, tilting her head to one side, assessing.

“How did you–?” Claire blurted, shaking her head.

“You do not live as long as I have and not be able to tell,” Elin replied, studying the look on Claire’s face, for a moment unsure she’d read her right. “You knew, surely?”

“Yes, yes I did,” Claire replied, quickly trying to regain her composure.

“How long have you known?”

“Not long. Only since we arrived.”

Elin nodded and began walking again, slow enough for Claire to quickly catch up.

“Why haven’t ye said anything to the lad yet?” Elin asked.

“I just haven’t really found the right moment. We’ve all been so busy,” Claire said, keeping her eyes on the slippery path.

Elin smiled. “There is no such thing as the “right moment”, Claire. All you really need is him. Everything else is just details. He’ll be mad wi’ joy whether you tell him in the pig pen or on a perfectly moon lit night,” she said, giving Claire’s shoulder a comforting squeeze.

“You’re right,” Claire said, a bit sheepishly, smiling from ear to ear. “Him being awake long enough for me to tell him is most essential, I suppose,” she added with a laugh, Elin quietly joining in.

Raucous laughter heralded the men’s return, Claire easily spotting her husband towering over all the others. He beamed unabashedly at the sight of her, his grin touching his eyes. A smile she knew matched her own. No matter how small or grand, Elin  _was_ right, every moment spent with him would always be the perfect moment.

***


End file.
